joebagadonuts

Cheese and Whine

by

There’s something about the Cardinals I just can’t stand, I can’t put my finger on it.  Maybe it’s the fact that they used to be in the NFC East, and we played them twice a year.  Maybe it’s their whining, annoying quarterback, or their obnoxious kicker, or that silly looking cardinal head on the side of the helmet.  Whatever the reason, it certainly feels good to beat them.

I’m excited.  I know, I know, it’s early, and we have some tough challenges ahead, but the Redskins are right where they’re supposed to be at this point.  The next two will be difficult, no doubt, and coming out of the division games on the road against the Cowboys and Eagles at 2-3 would be a success in my view.  We then have a three game stretch of Rams – Browns – Lions, all of whom are struggling.  We win those, and we’re back in the hunt for the back stretch.Inflatable Happy Clown Bouncer

And by the way, no lucky underwear this week.  The ‘help’ (a.k.a. the wife) wasn’t able to get the laundry done in time, so we were living on the edge.  No doubt I’ll have those underwear pressed and ready for next week at 4:15 p.m.  And without further ado, here’s some of the stuff that came oozing out of my brain on Sunday… 

Read more

Lucky Underwear 1, Saints 0

by

Okay, so I know what happened here.  I wrote about how Durant Brooks did so well last week, taking that shot to the groin and all, he read it, got all cocky, and went out and had a bad week.  My fault.  However, it’s a good thing I was wearing my lucky underwear to help the Redskins pull out the win.  I forgot to wear my lucky underwear last week, and look what happened.  So far, my lucky underwear is 1-0 versus the spread.

And just a quick note to my friends at DirecTV.  I pay you two hundred fifty some-odd dollars for my Sunday Ticket subscription.  I pay you ten some-odd dollars  a month for my HD service.  And now you want me to pay ANOTHER one hundred some-odd dollars to get my Sunday Ticket games in HD with your ‘SuperFan’ offering?!?  Have you gone mad?!?  How many ways can you possibly screw me out of more of my hard-earned some-odd dollars?!?

And now back to our regular programming (which is probably slighty more random than usual, given that I was irrate and distracted for most of the first half, after learning that I could not watch my game in HD)….

Read more

Brooks’ Groin Pain as Metaphor

by

Okay, let’s review our pre-game ‘The World is Against Us and We’re Bitter About It’ checklist. First game of the season on the road? Check. In a hostile environment against a division opponent? Check. Superbowl trophy presentation, including retired superstar player and fan-favorite? Check. New coach? Check. Preseason injury bug? Check. Looks like we’re all set to get this season started!

Even with the Checklist of Doom, I certainly did not expect the Redskins to come out and play one of the worst halves of football I think I have even seen. Aside from a seven-point gift at the end of the half from the Giants and the guys in stripes, the Redskins were about as bad as you can be in all three phases of the game. The only bright spot was Durant Brooks getting his family jewels run into on a punt (okay, maybe not a bright spot for him) which kept the drive alive, and allowed the offense to get a little extra work and go six-and-out, instead of the usual three-and-out. Nice work, fellas. It’s true, we got punched in the mouth, and didn’t do much punching back. When the clock turned over to start the fourth quarter, you could feel that the game was already over – not because there wouldn’t be ample time to score twice, but because the Redskins – despite their resilience in the second half – did not have enough motivation or momentum to pull it out. Let’s hope that next week we’re Tommy Lee, and the Saints are the paparazzi.

And now, enough with these coherent organized thoughts, and onto some random drivel….

Read more

Numbers, Schmumbers

by

Numbers.  47-3.  24-3.  71-6.  Sure, they mean something, and right now they don’t look good.  But this game is about more than numbers, which sounds silly to say, since the score has actual numbers in it, numbers which determine the winner and loser.  However, in the preseason, I’ve tried to look past the numbers, and what I see from the Redskins is rather exciting.

So, with gloom and doom lurking around the Redskins as of late, I thought I would brighten your day with a few positive notes:

Read more

Is it time to wake up already?

by

(*Cue dramatic nature-like music & deep voice-over-type voice*) Like a bear – a big, burly brown bear – or wait, maybe a like a black bear, yeah, a black bear – like a black bear, I awaken from my winter slumber to emerge into the spring that is…..the NFL Preseason. Just like the bear, I am hungry – starving for sustenance. For him that means fish and berries – for me, it means Redskins football. And just like the bear, I have to poop, since I’ve been holding it for months. Actually, that’s where the metaphor falls apart, because I have been pooping all winter, but hang in there with me for a moment longer. (*Ahem*) Just like the bear, I’ve forgotten the struggles of the last year, and I look forward to the triumph that the new season seems to promise. And as the bear and I gaze upon the shining spring sun, we’re both thinking the same thing – ‘Man, I hate the *bleeping* Cowboys.’

So now that I’ve warmed up my metaphoric muscles, I’ll get to the meat of the act. I was going to write about how we as Redskins fans need to CALM DOWN and not get all giggly and squirmy just because the team has looked pretty darn good in the first couple of preseason games. But then I thought – hey, why not get all giggly and squirmy? This may be our only chance to get all giggly and squirmy, so we might as well do it now.

Read more

Is it time to wake up already?

by
(*Cue dramatic nature-like music & deep voice-over-type voice*) Like a bear – a big, burly brown bear – or wait, maybe a like a black bear, yeah, a black bear – like a black bear, I awaken from my winter slumber to emerge into the spring that is…..the NFL Preseason. Just like the bear, I am hungry – starving for sustenance. For him that means fish and berries – for me, it means Redskins football. And just like the bear, I have to poop, since I’ve been holding it for months. Actually, that’s where the metaphor falls apart, because I have been pooping all winter, but hang in there with me for a moment longer. (*Ahem*) Just like the bear, I’ve forgotten the struggles of the last year, and I look forward to the triumph that the new season seems to promise. And as the bear and I gaze upon the shining spring sun, we’re both thinking the same thing – ‘Man, I hate the *bleeping* Cowboys.’

So now that I’ve warmed up my metaphoric muscles, I’ll get to the meat of the act. I was going to write about how we as Redskins fans need to CALM DOWN and not get all giggly and squirmy just because the team has looked pretty darn good in the first couple of preseason games. But then I thought – hey, why not get all giggly and squirmy? This may be our only chance to get all giggly and squirmy, so we might as well do it now.

Read more

Dan’s Prom Date

by
Were you expecting anything less than this? A circus of media attention, dragged out for weeks, complete with flying rumors, disgruntled coaches, and hard evidence that Dan Snyder is an alien hell-bent on destroying the earth (I threw that alien stuff in there myself). If you expected a nice, quiet search for a new coach, then you, my friend, have not been paying attention.

I know you tried hard to believe that Dan had changed, that Joe Gibbs had taken him by the arm and illuminated the path to greatness – or at least the path to common sense. But Dan is what Dan is. However far Joe pulled him, when released to his own devices, Dan swung back to his equilibrium. As the sign in the Oracle’s kitchen says, ‘Know thyself’. Dan Snyder knows himself. He is what he is, and there’s not much we as fans can do about it, except grit our teeth and hold on tight, or get off the ride. Eat a cookie, you’ll feel better.

Read more