Don't throw sausage in the UK

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Thu Aug 23, 2007 8:52 am

They take that kind of thing rather seriously over there.

This makes me laugh, I can almost hear the sarcastic pause:

And then they decided to charge him with common assault - with a sausage.

SkinsFreak · Post by **SkinsFreak** » Thu Aug 23, 2007 9:26 am

um, I assaulted my wife with a sausage just last night. 8-[

Countertrey · Post by **Countertrey** » Thu Aug 23, 2007 9:32 am

SkinsFreak wrote:8-[ um, I assaulted my wife with a sausage just last night.

Does she know?

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Thu Aug 23, 2007 9:43 am

Countertrey wrote:
SkinsFreak wrote:8-[ um, I assaulted my wife with a sausage just last night.

Does she know?

She kept screaming "this is why I hate patties, go get me a link!"

SkinsFreak · Post by **SkinsFreak** » Thu Aug 23, 2007 10:21 am

UK Skins Fan · Post by **UK Skins Fan** » Thu Aug 23, 2007 3:32 pm

Damn right we take it seriously. That was a perfectly good sausage, and a man's sausage is his castle.

The old guy thought he'd been hit by a stone, which clearly suggests that this little thug hadn't even bothered to defrost the aforementioned sausage before throwing it.

Crikey, not only did he throw away a prefectly good sausage, but he didn't cook it properly first.

This is exactly why Britain is going down the plughole. Still, there is hope - his defence lawyer may yet save his bacon.

SkinsFreak · Post by **SkinsFreak** » Thu Aug 23, 2007 3:57 pm

I think they need to be more specific; was it a Vienna Sausage or a Keilbasa? Size does matter in this case.

rick301 · Post by **rick301** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 8:04 am

SkinsFreak wrote:8-[ um, I assaulted my wife with a sausage just last night.

SkinsFreak wrote:I think they need to be more specific; was it a Vienna Sausage or a Keilbasa? Size does matter in this case.

What would your wife say?

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 8:11 am

rick301 wrote:
SkinsFreak wrote:8-[ um, I assaulted my wife with a sausage just last night.

SkinsFreak wrote:I think they need to be more specific; was it a Vienna Sausage or a Keilbasa? Size does matter in this case.

What would your wife say?

Mrs. SkinsFreak wrote:"Size would be a nice change of pace"

sorry man, these are just way too easy to pass up

Cappster · Post by **Cappster** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 8:23 am

Rather than throw my sausage down a hallway, I think I would just stay away.

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 8:49 am

Cappster wrote:Rather than throw my sausage down a hallway, I think I would just stay away.

Seriously, is someone paying you guys to set up the jokes for me?

Cappster · Post by **Cappster** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 9:29 am

Fios wrote:
Cappster wrote:Rather than throw my sausage down a hallway, I think I would just stay away.

Seriously, is someone paying you guys to set up the jokes for me?

My comment was meant for people who have heard a similar statement but insert the word "hot dog" dealing with a promiscuous woman. I handle my "business" so joke all you like

SkinsFreak · Post by **SkinsFreak** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 11:39 am

Fios wrote:
Mrs. SkinsFreak wrote:"Size would be a nice change of pace"

Mrs. SkinsFreak is extremely happy with the Keilbasa. But I have to admit, she does enjoy the Keilbasa several different ways. Sometimes she likes the Keilbasa plain, and sometimes she likes to pour sauce all over the Keilbasa. She even tries new recipes with the Kielbasa from time to time.

Only one problem, though. Whenever her girlfriends come over, she never seems to want to share the Kielbasa. I don't understand it. She can be rather selfish at times in my opinion. I always remind her that we now live in the south and should encourage the practice of "southern hospitality" when we have guests. There is always enough Keilbasa for her and her friends if she would just share once in a while.

Countertrey · Post by **Countertrey** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 12:21 pm

There is always enough Keilbasa for her and her friends if she would just share once in a while.

I would suggest that she just cut the keilbasa into smaller pieces... A really sharp knife helps in the process...

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 12:37 pm

Countertrey wrote:
There is always enough Keilbasa for her and her friends if she would just share once in a while.

I would suggest that she just cut the keilbasa into smaller pieces... A really sharp knife helps in the process...

And a high-powered microscope :lowblow:

UK Skins Fan · Post by **UK Skins Fan** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 2:09 pm

Fios wrote:
Countertrey wrote:
There is always enough Keilbasa for her and her friends if she would just share once in a while.

I would suggest that she just cut the keilbasa into smaller pieces... A really sharp knife helps in the process...

And a high-powered microscope

If this were a "Carry On" movie, I think you'd be Sid James.

Countertrey · Post by **Countertrey** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 2:24 pm

And, if it were a John Wayne Bobbett movie, he might have a very unique scar...

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 2:37 pm

Countertrey wrote:And, if it were a John Wayne Bobbett movie, he might have a very unique scar...

Porn is scaring? I mean physically? I mean for the guys?

Cappster · Post by **Cappster** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 2:50 pm

Fios wrote:
Countertrey wrote:And, if it were a John Wayne Bobbett movie, he might have a very unique scar...

Porn is scaring? I mean physically? I mean for the guys?

John Bobbit was the husband of Lorena bobbit who was a butcher and cut up his sausage.

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 2:52 pm

Cappster wrote:
Fios wrote:
Countertrey wrote:And, if it were a John Wayne Bobbett movie, he might have a very unique scar...

Porn is scaring? I mean physically? I mean for the guys?

John Bobbit was the husband of Lorena bobbit who was a butcher and cut up his sausage.

Yeah, I know, I lived in Manassas when it happened, he had a brief career in porn afterward. My weak attempt at a joke.

Countertrey · Post by **Countertrey** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 3:29 pm

It's ok, Fios... Got' cher back.

Manassas, VA... home of chopped Keilbasa and two very embarassing Army of the Potomac defeats...

Nothing good ever happens there... :wink:

jeremyroyce · Post by **jeremyroyce** » Tue Aug 28, 2007 2:08 am

This is stupid. Don't they have anything better to do then screw with someone that threw a sausage. Good Lord.

Deadskins · Post by **Deadskins** » Tue Aug 28, 2007 9:08 am

SkinsFreak wrote:8-[ um, I assaulted my wife with a sausage just last night.

That, too, was a cocktail wiener.

Countertrey · Post by **Countertrey** » Tue Aug 28, 2007 9:22 am

JSPB22 wrote:
SkinsFreak wrote:8-[ um, I assaulted my wife with a sausage just last night.

That, too, was a cocktail wiener.

That's it! Set, Game, Match!

UK Skins Fan · Post by **UK Skins Fan** » Tue Aug 28, 2007 2:37 pm

jeremyroyce wrote:This is stupid. Don't they have anything better to do then screw with someone that threw a sausage. Good Lord.

Be fair now - they are screwing with a kid who had three previous warnings regarding anti-social behaviour, and chose to ignore the lesson. Personally, I think the only appropriate punishment would be for him to have that sausage shoved somewhere that'll make him think about his attitude for a while.