Police Comments

[Justice Hog]

POLICE COMMENTS

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual
police car videos around the country.



#15
"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."


#14
"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."


#13
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."


#12
"Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."


#11
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"


#10
"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift
supervisor?"


#9
"Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."


#8
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"


#7
"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."


#6
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."


#5
"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."


#4
"Just how big were those two beers?"


#3
"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."


#2
"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."


And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!


#1
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
... You're right, we don't. .... Sign here.

[Hogfather]

Man those are great!! 13 & 8 were simple but man they made me laugh.

[tcwest10]

Oh, my...
There are several that can be reworded and used in everyday conversations.
#14 could've been straight out of an Eastwood "Dirty Harry" film.