Head-to-Head-to-Head
Josh Phillips aka Kid Vegas
3-2 last week 42-28 season
Happy Holidays, all you football fanatics out there! Santa Kid is here to bring all you football enthusiasts a special gift of weekly winners well before the Dec. 25 deadline. [Editor's Note: What the Kid is trying to say is the Tester won't be printed again until Jan. 6, due to the holidays, so we're all picking three weeks' worth of games.] He'll also be delivering a few holiday gifts to his favorite two prognosticators-in-law.
Ol' Bill will be receiving a new custom-made hip, crafted with the finest space-age plastics. Shopping for Jenkins is a bit more difficult, however. Since you just can't go out and buy someone more hair or a new liver, I'll be sending Jim those tapes of his special guest appearance on "COPS: Mobile Home Edition" ("But officer ... *hic* tha's MY groundhog!").
Week 15
Washington at San Francisco: Washington is coming off a hard loss to a good team. They should get an easy win here over a bad team. Skins easy.
Baltimore at Indianapolis: Will he or won't he? I'm talking about Peyton Manning breaking the great Dan Marino's single-season touchdown record. Don't think he'll do it against this secondary, but I still think Indy gets the win.
Jacksonville at Green Bay: Could be the game of the week, and really a toss-up. I say Jacksonville gets the upset.
Seattle at New York Jets: Seattle is just a bizarre team this year. The NFC West should be excluded from the playoffs. Jets cruise.
Carolina at Atlanta: Man, this is a toughie. I have to go with the Cardiac Cats (Panthers), as they're just playing lights-out football right now.
Week 16
Washington at Dallas: Ugh .... Hopefully the Redskins will be coming off a win over San Francisco giving them enough momentum to leave the Cowboys in the dust. Redskins win (that's two weeks in a row, folks!).
Baltimore at Pittsburgh: Baltimore is one team I just don't want to pick against right now. I almost had them upsetting the Colts. However, the smart money will be on the Steelers because we all know what notorious choke artists the Ravens are. Hellooo, Cincinnati! Steelers win.
Philadelphia at St. Louis: Just a few more games for Mike Martz! Wooo hooo! A riverboat will be by shortly to pick you up for your gambling odyssey, Mike. Eagles win.
Denver at Tennessee: All I want for Christmas is for this game to be blacked out. Who cares? Really. Denver squeaks by.
San Diego at Indianapolis: Another great game here, folks, and really a toss-up. But the Colts can't keep winning forever. And why not give them a loss here? Yeah, I'm picking the upset kids in San Diego.
Week 17
Minnesota at Washington: Picking blindly, it's hard to figure out just what sort of shape these teams will be in coming down the stretch. I'm going to have to go Minnesota, though. Could be Mike Tice's last game.
Miami at Baltimore: I don't even want to talk about the Dolphins this year. Baltimore wins even if they don't show up.
Dallas at New York Giants: One word: Why? Who in the Sam Hill picked this clunker? Watching this televised garbage may cause permanent blindness. Dallas wins the game while everyone viewing this filth loses.
Indianapolis at Denver: See above comments regarding Denver. Peyton should have well over 50 touchdowns by now.
Green Bay at Chicago: What the ...? This just in, WHO CARES? Chicago? The same Chicago that has the dynamic duo of Chad Hutchinson and Jeff "I'm still in the league?" George? Oh, my dear God. Green Bay, I suppose.
Jim Jenkins
3-2 last week 38-32 season
This is my last chance to really gain some ground on the Old Curmudgeon. [Editor's Note: Hah! Get your face out of the eggnog, Dream Boy.] I haven't given up just yet, but like the Redskins say to themselves after every season, "There's always next year." Here are the last three weeks of picks for the regular season and the year.
Week 15
Washington at San Francisco: Finally, a game where I can pick the Redskins as winners and have the hope that they actually win. Redskins.
Baltimore at Indianapolis: Peyton Manning will prove, scientifically, that not only is the moon made of Swiss cheese, so is the Raven defense. Colts win.
Jacksonville at Green Bay: I have to believe that the Packers will stop losing at home. Leftwich and the boys in Jacksonville will make a game of it, but the Pack wins.
Seattle at New York Jets: Seattle seems to be back on track after nearly losing themselves out of the playoff picture. J.E.T.S Lose, Lose, Lose. Seahawks win.
Carolina at Atlanta: Atlanta should probably sit Michael Vick down for these last few games so he doesn't get hurt before the playoffs. Atlanta really has nothing to play for, and Carolina is fighting for their lives. Oh well, I'll take a shot in the dark and say Falcons win.
Week 16
Washington at Dallas: There's no way in heck that I am picking the Cowpokes over the Redskins. Washington wins.
Baltimore at Pittsburgh: The Ravens won the first meeting, and to be fair it's the Steelers' turn. Pitt wins.
San Diego at Indianapolis: In a pre-match of what could end up as a playoff game in just a couple weeks, Brees and Manning square off to battle on the grid iron. Colts win.
Denver at Tennessee, Christmas night: T'was Christmas night, and all through the condos, no creatures were stirring except for some Broncos. They beat the Titans and sipped on some 'nog, the Mile High was roaring, surrounded by fog. OK, I'm done. [Editor's Note: See what I told you? We drew names, and Jim's office Pollyanna present this year is an intervention.]
Philadelphia at St. Louis, Monday night: The Iggles win the pennant, the Iggles win the pennant.
Week 17
Minnesota at Washington: Everybody else has beaten the Vikings, why not the Skins? Washington wins.
Miami at Baltimore: Duh, Ravens win big, unless Ricky Williams plays, and then the Ravens just win.
Dallas at New York Giants: I am torn between reality and what I want to happen. Cowboys win.
Indianapolis at Denver: C.O.L.T.S. Colts, Colts, Colts, It just may be their last win of the season as they head off into the playoffs, where they normally fall apart.
Green Bay at Chicago: At this point in the season, who cares? Packers win.
Bill Swanson aka The Old Curmudgeon
4-1 last week 44-26 season
I'm not going to utter one whisper of criticism at Jim "Somebody Find Me a Nickname" Jenkins for picking the Redskins over Philadelphia last week: He was right to do so, and it was nothing less than a valiant effort on his part and theirs. I picked the Iggles, but would have been deliriously happy to have been wrong. Jeez, what a game. That thing was a moral victory for the Skins. Wow. Too bad moral victories don't count for squat.
Kid Konstipation, on the other hand, who has been crooning about how he's been inching up on me, dropped back another game. Pity.
The Titans kick a field goal to go ahead 38-35 on Monday night with less than two minutes left, and how do the Chiefs respond? They score more touchdowns (two) in under two minutes than the Redskins have scored in 9 of their 13 games this year. And it was the longest (3 hours 42 minutes) non-overtime game of the year so far. Yikes.
And for the fourth time this season, all three of us unanimously picked the Vikings (as did the guys on Inside the NFL and the guys on Fox sports, as well as the bookies in Las Vegas, and perhaps the All-England Ladies Book Club) and all three of us unanimously got shafted FOR THE FOURTH TIME. Our collective score is now 0-12 when picking Minnesota. So here's the message, Minnesota: Die, you miserable *&^%$#@, die! In the spirit of the coming holidays, I want to roast your chestnuts on an open fire, if ya know what I mean.
Here we go, three weeks worth of picks, possibly for all the marbles:
Week 15
Washington at San Francisco: Christmas present No. 1: Redskins finally kick somebody's butt.
Baltimore at Indianapolis: Christmas present No. 2: Who are we kidding? Balmer has no offense, and the Colts have Peyton Manning. Colts.
We normally pick the Monday night game, but this week it's New England versus Miami, a match-up so pathetic we won't deign to include it. And with some division contests coming down to the wire, we've selected some tougher picks:
Jacksonville at Green Bay: A wild-card contender versus a division champion, now we're talking! I can't bring myself to bet against Brett Favre, and he's at home. Packers.
Seattle at N'Yawk Jets: Another division leader versus the AFC's wild-card leading contender. The Seahawks have been too erratic for my taste. I'm picking Pe, Pe, Pennie and the Jets.
Carolina at Atlanta: Falcons, no idea why (other than their 10-3 record).
Week 16
Washington at Dallas: A stocking stuffer of a game; Redskins win their sixth of the year.
Baltimore at Pittsburgh: Another near-gimme: Picksburg, baby.
Philadelphia at St. Louis, Monday night: Could be a fairly good game, but the Eagles are Super-Bowl-bound with a 15-1 record. Iggles win their 14th.
Denver at Tennessee, Christmas night: Could be interesting. Broncos sing Silent Night to the sleeping Titans.
San Diego at Indianapolis: Could be the most exciting game of this weekend, but still gotta go with Manning and the Colts.
Week 17
Minnesota at Washington: Redskins finish the season with their seventh win; Arrington and Sean Taylor hurt so many Vikings Hagar comes in from the comics page to play wide receiver.
Miami at Baltimore: Bwa-hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Not worth watching even if the Skins weren't on the other channel. Ravens.
Dallas at New York Giants: I hate Dallas (as if you didn't know by now), but I reluctantly pick the Cowboys to win. Wish it were otherwise.
Indianapolis at Denver: Maybe the best game of this weekend: Manning, Manning, Manning.
Green Bay at Chicago: Da Bearz might give da Packerz a good game, but it won't be enough. Packerz by a frozen nose.
Happy holidays, one and all! See ya in 2005 in the Jan. 6 issue, when I continue to toy with Kid Chilblain's brain during the post-season spectaculars.
http://www.dcmilitary.com/navy/tester/9 ... 556-1.html
All 3 picked the Skins to win out
