It's September, time for the America's Team bandwagon to depart for its annual trip into the ditch.
Please buckle up. This Cowboys' crash is going to hurt worse than most.
All those poor passengers think they're destined for a Super Bowl at Cowboys Stadium.
"For this team to do the ultimate this year would be on par with having won the first Super Bowl," Jerry Jones said. "I haven't gotten over that. It would be something out of a storybook.
"A man can dream."
So can women, children and livestock. In fact, a recent survey showed 84 percent of U.S. sheep think Dallas will win the Super Bowl.
When will they learn?
These are the Cowboys, the undisputed heavyweight champs of hype. Vince Lombardi will hoist the Vince Lombardi Trophy before Jones does, but that won't stop Dallas from being the NFL's permanent contribution to America's Most Overrated.
Rock band -- Guns N' Roses. Actor -- Sean Penn (in any role after Jeff Spicoli), Football Coach -- Whoever's at Notre Dame.
I'll admit the Jets have brought their "A" game to this year's hypefest. I half expected the New York-centric media to call for Barack Obama to become directly involved in the Darrelle Revis peace talks.
But imagine if Wade Phillips were 1/100th as bombastic as Rex Ryan or Mark Sanchez dated a conga line of Jessica Simpsons or DeMarcus Ware had held out all training camp? The Cowboys would have gotten more attention than the Ground Zero mosque.
The New York Publicity Hounds/Jets are mere pretenders to the Dallas throne. The odds of the Cowboys winning the Super Bowl are generally 8-1, depending on the bookie. That trails only the Colts, Chargers and Saints.
Bookies know what suckers Dallas fans are. It's a testament to brilliant marketing and a few really good teams over the past 30 years. Millions of people turned into Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, minus the world-class pompoms.
I'm not saying Dallas is Tampa Bay in waiting. It's just that the Cowboys' value is always magnified to the point of absurdity.
Simply putting on a Dallas uniform qualifies a player for the Pro Bowl. In fact, I'm pretty sure that one year the entire NFC team will be made up Adrian Peterson and 47 Cowboys.
It may be this year since Dallas players will not be busy with Super Bowl preparations. To get there a team must win more than one playoff game. The Cowboys have one win to show for the past 14 seasons.
After beating the beat the Eagles, 34-13, in last year's wild card game, you'd have thought Tony Romo was Joe Montana and Phillips had become Bill Walsh. A week later they couldn't conjur a touchdown.
How about them Cowboys!
Many of last year's faults were supposedly addressed when Dallas drafted wide receiver Dez Bryant. According to Dallas fans and media outlets, he immediately became better than Jerry Rice.
It was reminiscent of when Dallas traded for Roy Williams. Merely being a Cowboy would transform him into the second coming of Michael Irvin. Two years later, he's more like Michael Moore.
Even if Bryant is half as great as fans think, he can't play left tackle. The Cowboys' offensive line is so old and fragile, Wilford Brimley should be hiking the ball to Romo. Throw in a rookie kicker and gnarly schedule and you have a January crash waiting to happen.
And we haven't even gotten to Phillips. Even the Dallas hype machine can't make people believe he's anything more than a nicer version of Barry Switzer.
Bumbling Barry was the last Dallas coach to win a Super Bowl. That was only because Jimmy Johnson left a gold mine of talent before his falling out with Jones.
Emmitt, Troy, Irvin. Now that was a team worthy of the hype.
Since then, Jones has tried everything. Bill Parcells. Plastic surgery. Terrell Owens. A $1.2 billion stadium.
That was enough to land Super Bowl XLV and launch this year's dream. Jones has one, and so do I.
I hate creations of hype, so I dream that Cowboys' bandwagon will finish upside down in a ditch with its wheels spinning in the air.
Unlike Jerry, I never wake up disappointed.
Nice
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When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hold on....
"That's a clown question, bro" - - - - - - - - - - Bryce Harper, DC Statesman "But Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man That he didn't, didn't already have" - - - - - - - - - - Dewey Bunnell, America
After beating the beat the Eagles, 34-13, in last year's wild card game, you'd have thought Tony Romo was Joe Montana and Phillips had become Bill Walsh. A week later they couldn't conjur a touchdown.
How about them Cowboys!
My favorite part. The hype after going from 0 wins in 13 years to 1 win in 14 years was amazing
Hail to the Redskins!
Groucho: Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him
Twain: A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way
