Prayer

jeremyroyce · Post by **jeremyroyce** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 5:13 pm

Hey everyone. I'm not sure if anyone on this site prays but if you do please keep me and my wife in prayer. My wife and I are separated and I would like some prayer that my wife and I can work out our differences. Thank you

Jeremy

Irn-Bru · Post by **Irn-Bru** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 5:22 pm

We have more than a few members who have talked about prayer. I hope you are able to work things out, Jeremy.

jeremyroyce · Post by **jeremyroyce** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 5:23 pm

Irn-Bru wrote:We have more than a few members who have talked about prayer. I hope you are able to work things out, Jeremy.

Thank you. I do appreciate it

PulpExposure · Post by **PulpExposure** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 5:31 pm

Sorry to hear about your difficulties, and I wish you the best in resolving them.

jeremyroyce · Post by **jeremyroyce** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 5:37 pm

PulpExposure wrote:Sorry to hear about your difficulties, and I wish you the best in resolving them.

Thank you

SkinsChic · Post by **SkinsChic** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 5:39 pm

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife Jeremy! Hang in there. If things don't work out the way you would like them to it doesn't always mean it's the wrong way - look ahead - not back.

VetSkinsFan · Post by **VetSkinsFan** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 7:04 pm

Wow, that's really sad to hear. I wish you and your wife well, Jeremy.

jeremyroyce · Post by **jeremyroyce** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 7:15 pm

Thank you everyone for your support

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 7:54 pm

Best of luck to you Jeremy, hopefully this can be resolved amicably

Redskin in Canada · Post by **Redskin in Canada** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:29 pm

jeremyroyce wrote:Hey everyone. I'm not sure if anyone on this site prays but if you do please keep me and my wife in prayer. My wife and I are separated and I would like some prayer that my wife and I can work out our differences. Thank you

Jeremy

I strongly believe in the power of prayer. You and your wife will be in mine tonight.

HOWEVER, as Benjamin Franklyn said: “God helps those who help themselves.”

Let me ask very respectfully: Have you both considered marriage counseling?

Would it be wrong to consider it as an option by both of you once things cool down a bit and you may talk again to one another? There are professionals who can help bridge differences and strike lasting compromises.

Think about it. We will pray in the meantime brother.

DEHog · Post by **DEHog** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 10:22 pm

Already done!!

My wife and I (as most marriages do) went thought it years ago. I agree with RIC if both parties are willing, and divorce is not an option, counseling is the way to go…a bit of caution do not got to a counselor who believes in divorce. After healing our marriage my wife and felt compelled to help other marriages. We got involved in marriage mentoring (as part of our training we watch videos presented by Lee and Les Parrott to my surprise Coach and Joy Zorn were on the video, they too severe as marriage mentors) through our church it is a different approach to marriage counseling. It utilizes both the husband and wife who have worked through some issues in their own marriage.
You believe in prayer (I believe it the best thing you can do) so I would say start at your local church see if they have a marriage mentor program. Most couple are open to this type of counseling because there is a man and women involved…sometime the wife feel beat up if it’s a male counselor. Remember it took time to get where you are it will take time to resolved it.

God Bless!

jeremyroyce · Post by **jeremyroyce** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 4:07 am

Redskin in Canada wrote:
jeremyroyce wrote:Hey everyone. I'm not sure if anyone on this site prays but if you do please keep me and my wife in prayer. My wife and I are separated and I would like some prayer that my wife and I can work out our differences. Thank you

Jeremy
I strongly believe in the power of prayer. You and your wife will be in mine tonight.

HOWEVER, as Benjamin Franklyn said: “God helps those who help themselves.”

Let me ask very respectfully: Have you both considered marriage counseling?

Would it be wrong to consider it as an option by both of you once things cool down a bit and you may talk again to one another? There are professionals who can help bridge differences and strike lasting compromises.

Think about it. We will pray in the meantime brother.

You know we did think about it. But at the time I didn't think that it would change any. I would really like to now, but I can't get her to contact me.

jeremyroyce · Post by **jeremyroyce** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 4:11 am

DEHog wrote:Already done!!

My wife and I (as most marriages do) went thought it years ago. I agree with RIC if both parties are willing, and divorce is not an option, counseling is the way to go…a bit of caution do not got to a counselor who believes in divorce. After healing our marriage my wife and felt compelled to help other marriages. We got involved in marriage mentoring (as part of our training we watch videos presented by Lee and Les Parrott to my surprise Coach and Joy Zorn were on the video, they too severe as marriage mentors) through our church it is a different approach to marriage counseling. It utilizes both the husband and wife who have worked through some issues in their own marriage.
You believe in prayer (I believe it the best thing you can do) so I would say start at your local church see if they have a marriage mentor program. Most couple are open to this type of counseling because there is a man and women involved…sometime the wife feel beat up if it’s a male counselor. Remember it took time to get where you are it will take time to resolved it.

God Bless!

Hey, thank you so much for this. It makes me feel better. If you don't mind me asking. Did it take you awhile for your marriage to be fixed?

Hoss · Post by **Hoss** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 4:21 am

Jeremy, prayers out to you and your wife. Good luck to you brother.

jeremyroyce · Post by **jeremyroyce** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 4:57 am

Hoss wrote:Jeremy, prayers out to you and your wife. Good luck to you brother.

Thank you. I'm gonna need it

DEHog · Post by **DEHog** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 10:25 am

jeremyroyce wrote:
DEHog wrote:Already done!!

My wife and I (as most marriages do) went thought it years ago. I agree with RIC if both parties are willing, and divorce is not an option, counseling is the way to go…a bit of caution do not got to a counselor who believes in divorce. After healing our marriage my wife and felt compelled to help other marriages. We got involved in marriage mentoring (as part of our training we watch videos presented by Lee and Les Parrott to my surprise Coach and Joy Zorn were on the video, they too severe as marriage mentors) through our church it is a different approach to marriage counseling. It utilizes both the husband and wife who have worked through some issues in their own marriage.
You believe in prayer (I believe it the best thing you can do) so I would say start at your local church see if they have a marriage mentor program. Most couple are open to this type of counseling because there is a man and women involved…sometime the wife feel beat up if it’s a male counselor. Remember it took time to get where you are it will take time to resolved it.

God Bless!

Hey, thank you so much for this. It makes me feel better. If you don't mind me asking. Did it take you awhile for your marriage to be fixed?

There really is no set time frame. I’ve seen marriages heal in 6 months. It depends on a lot of things….What is in your wife and yours background and have you healed from it. How were you raised? What are the issues now? If trust has been broken then it will take longer. The good news is if both parties are willing, it won’t take as long to repair it as it did to tear it down!! In our case we spent 10 years in dysfunction and we were able to repair our marriage in a little over a year. I will admit the year seemed longer!!

The problem is most people don’t want to work on it; they take the easy way out and blame their spouse for all the problems in their life, divorce them, only to take the same issues into the next marriage. That’s why the divorce rate is 50% in this country. My wife and I get very frustrated and we draw the line with couples when we are working harder on their marriage then they are! They make decisions while they are still mad, we have seen husbands and wives alike regret the decisions they made in anger. I see you thought about counseling in the past but didn’t go…this is unfortunately a familiar trend among men. We let are pride get in the way!! I once heard a speaker say “if your spouse needs counseling so do you!” There is so much truth in that statement.

I pray things work out for you and your wife!!

langleyparkjoe · Post by **langleyparkjoe** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 10:56 am

Hey Bro, I wish you guys the best with that. I been there and did that, if you guys have kids just make sure you both are there for them. I'll say a prayer for you all tonight man, keep your head up.

VetSkinsFan · Post by **VetSkinsFan** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 11:48 am

DEHog,

You have some great advice. There are a few things that have gotten me through some rougher times. Never go to bed mad is one of my cardinal rules. Never argue on the phone. I personally have to think about what I say before I say it. If, after considering what I want to say, conclude it won't help the situation, then it's better left unsaid.

Even the peeves that everyone has (I know I have a lot); will they help or hurt if brought up? How will it be perceived once brought up? First impression of a situation usually stays regardless of what happens afterwards.

Until I met my wife (we've been married 10 years now), I never really considered anyone else's feelings before mine. When I met my wife, everything changed. I still get my knee jerk reactions to blurt out what comes to mind 1st, but I've learned to control that urge and analyze the ramifications. I have to read in to my wife b/c she's such a sacrificing person, family 1st, that I have to read between the lines to know what she wants.

These are just a few examples of how I changed when I met and fell in love with Tara. If you think it would help, feel free to PM me and we can talk. Regardless, I wish you well in making the best choices in your marriage.

Jake · Post by **Jake** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 11:53 am

Good luck Jeremy!

DEHog · Post by **DEHog** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 12:29 pm

VetSkinsFan wrote:DEHog,

You have some great advice. There are a few things that have gotten me through some rougher times. Never go to bed mad is one of my cardinal rules. Never argue on the phone. I personally have to think about what I say before I say it. If, after considering what I want to say, conclude it won't help the situation, then it's better left unsaid.

Even the peeves that everyone has (I know I have a lot); will they help or hurt if brought up? How will it be perceived once brought up? First impression of a situation usually stays regardless of what happens afterwards.

Until I met my wife (we've been married 10 years now), I never really considered anyone else's feelings before mine. When I met my wife, everything changed. I still get my knee jerk reactions to blurt out what comes to mind 1st, but I've learned to control that urge and analyze the ramifications. I have to read in to my wife b/c she's such a sacrificing person, family 1st, that I have to read between the lines to know what she wants.

These are just a few examples of how I changed when I met and fell in love with Tara. If you think it would help, feel free to PM me and we can talk. Regardless, I wish you well in making the best choices in your marriage.

All good stuff Vet!! I would add…

The 2 things I tell men to do is to give your wife 30 minutes a day ( if that sounds like to much try 15) of your undivided attention!! No ESPN on in the background, get rid of the children, kick the dog out and just listen to her!! I like to do it the bedroom… because it leads to other things!! Your wife will love you for it!!
Date your wife…sounds stupid but it works, set aside at least 1 day month (once a week is more preferable) to take your wife on date. Make the arrangements for a babysitter if you have kids...don’t use the excuse you can’t afford it…you can’t afford not to do it!!

I know some of you will say da!!! But I wish someone had told me about this years ago...my dad died when I was 1...my mom never remarried and I had no example of marriage!

jeremyroyce · Post by **jeremyroyce** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:06 pm

DEHog wrote:
jeremyroyce wrote:
DEHog wrote:Already done!!

My wife and I (as most marriages do) went thought it years ago. I agree with RIC if both parties are willing, and divorce is not an option, counseling is the way to go…a bit of caution do not got to a counselor who believes in divorce. After healing our marriage my wife and felt compelled to help other marriages. We got involved in marriage mentoring (as part of our training we watch videos presented by Lee and Les Parrott to my surprise Coach and Joy Zorn were on the video, they too severe as marriage mentors) through our church it is a different approach to marriage counseling. It utilizes both the husband and wife who have worked through some issues in their own marriage.
You believe in prayer (I believe it the best thing you can do) so I would say start at your local church see if they have a marriage mentor program. Most couple are open to this type of counseling because there is a man and women involved…sometime the wife feel beat up if it’s a male counselor. Remember it took time to get where you are it will take time to resolved it.

God Bless!

Hey, thank you so much for this. It makes me feel better. If you don't mind me asking. Did it take you awhile for your marriage to be fixed?

There really is no set time frame. I’ve seen marriages heal in 6 months. It depends on a lot of things….What is in your wife and yours background and have you healed from it. How were you raised? What are the issues now? If trust has been broken then it will take longer. The good news is if both parties are willing, it won’t take as long to repair it as it did to tear it down!! In our case we spent 10 years in dysfunction and we were able to repair our marriage in a little over a year. I will admit the year seemed longer!!

The problem is most people don’t want to work on it; they take the easy way out and blame their spouse for all the problems in their life, divorce them, only to take the same issues into the next marriage. That’s why the divorce rate is 50% in this country. My wife and I get very frustrated and we draw the line with couples when we are working harder on their marriage then they are! They make decisions while they are still mad, we have seen husbands and wives alike regret the decisions they made in anger. I see you thought about counseling in the past but didn’t go…this is unfortunately a familiar trend among men. We let are pride get in the way!! I once heard a speaker say “if your spouse needs counseling so do you!” There is so much truth in that statement.

I pray things work out for you and your wife!!

For counseling I wanted to do this however I felt and still feel that No matter what at that time nothing would have changed. It's amazing how you brought up the fact that how people take the easy route and blame their spouse for all their problems. That's what I'm dealing with, the fact that this is all my fault. Thank you for your support and God Bless You

langleyparkjoe · Post by **langleyparkjoe** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:10 pm

Hey Bruh, I think you might've took the first big step already IMO and that's turning to the Big Man upstairs as opposed to the bottle as some people do. *myself included* Once again, keep the faith and I'll pray 2nite, promise you on that one man.

jeremyroyce · Post by **jeremyroyce** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:10 pm

langleyparkjoe wrote:Hey Bro, I wish you guys the best with that. I been there and did that, if you guys have kids just make sure you both are there for them. I'll say a prayer for you all tonight man, keep your head up.

What really sucks is that we do have kids, however they are all hers. However, she won't talk to me nor will she let me see the kids. I did say the day that I left, I think it might be in the best interest for the kids that I stay away until we work things out. After I saw one of our kids react to me leaving, and they have been through this before.

jeremyroyce · Post by **jeremyroyce** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:14 pm

langleyparkjoe wrote:Hey Bruh, I think you might've took the first big step already IMO and that's turning to the Big Man upstairs as opposed to the bottle as some people do. *myself included* Once again, keep the faith and I'll pray 2nite, promise you on that one man.

Well, thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah, I've seen what happens when people choose the bottle and its not something that I want.

Redskin in Canada · Post by **Redskin in Canada** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 7:55 pm

jeremyroyce wrote:It's amazing how you brought up the fact that how people take the easy route and blame their spouse for all their problems. That's what I'm dealing with, the fact that this is all my fault. Thank you for your support and God Bless You

I am sure she might consider this statement as a step forward. It won't solve all the problems but it would be a great first step.

Please don't do it over the phone. Man up and say it to her in person. Only use the phone if she won't meet you.

After reading some posts in the past and present, I am proud to be a member of this board.

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