A Look Into My 2004 Crystal Ball ... 16-0!!!
April 14, 2004
There are some quirks here, no question. I mean, how do you start a season against a division opponent and then not play another team in the division until two months later?
Three Monday night games and one against the Vikings? Interesting. Nine of the games to be played at 1 p.m., so at least there's a semblance of a normal life cycle here.
Yup, the 2004 Eagles schedule has some interesting twists and turns, and as I look into the Annual Spadaro Crystal Ball, I see -- I'm serious now -- a real shot to be 16-0. Let's take a look at what might ahead in the year ahead.
GAME 1: Vs. The Giants
Dhani Jones is, as we speak, holed up in a corner of his trendy Center City house. He's got A Clockwork Orange blaring from the speakers and he's composing a Why I Want To Beat The Giants poem to paste to his locker stall in preparation for this game.
LB Dhani Jones
As the game draws nearer, he reads it to the media:
"The Giants showed me no love
So I moved to Philly
I'm a man of the people, peace and hard hits are my vibe
I'm an Eagle now and I will make the Giants look silly..."
Tom Coughlin, in his first official duty as the Giants head coach and after promising to be a kinder, gentler disciplinarian, rips off his headset and his ear spurts blood after the coin toss goes the Eagles way.
"This NFC!" Coughlin snarls to the officials. "It's a conspiracy."
As for the game, Donovan McNabb completes six passes for 92 yards and a pair of scores to Terrell Owens. Owens hands the ball to the officials after each score, but then does six pushups with McNabb on his back when both get back to the sidelines.
"D-Mac and me have something going here," Owens says after the game. "A couple of touchdowns and 12 push-ups. Not a bad start!"
Owens is approached by the marketing folks at Lincoln Financial Group after the press conference and agrees to donate a box of Sharpies to Philadelphia-area art centers for each push-up during the 2004 season.
Final Score: Eagles 24, Giants 7
GAME 2: Vs. The Vikings
McNabb and Minnesota quarterback Daunte Culpepper meet before the game and do biceps poses for the marveling, pencil-necked cameramen at Lincoln Financial Field, but it's Jevon Kearse who steals the show.
Kearse sacks Culpepper in the first quarter, forces a fumble and returns the recovery 72 yards for the touchdown. He reaches back to stiff arm Randy Moss, who's a full 10 yards behind Kearse as No. 93 steams toward the end zone.
Nobody knew just how long Kearse's reach was, but his stiff arm prompts the Lincoln Financial Field crowd to chant "GUM-BY, GUM-BY" as Kearse leaps -- literally -- through the goal posts in the end zone.
"I knew he was athletic," said a happy Andy Reid after the game, "but I have never seen that kind of ability before. Jumping through the goal posts, man, that's special."
Final Score: Eagles 21, Vikings 10
GAME 3: At The Lions
A strange town, this Detroit. There's an autograph session early in the day as Barry Sanders and Robo-Cop (Peter Weller, in case you didn't know) meet and greet before the game.
Lito Sheppard
The sounds of "I'll buy THAT for a dollar," ring out in the corridors of Ford Field as the Eagles go through their pre-game warm-ups.
Because the Eagles haven't been to Detroit since 1984 and thus don't have a working knowledge of the city, they travel to the game in armored buses. The warning is that Detroit is a dangerous town. The fears go unfounded. The stadium is beautiful, and the game is a doozy.
Lito Sheppard gets into it early against wide receiver Charles Rogers and away they go. Back and forth. Sheppard knocks down a pass. Rogers catches one, spikes the ball and is penalized 15 years -- I mean, yards. It's a spirited battle.
Meanwhile, Joey Harrington is rattled by the Eagles fans that have stormed Detroit and are chanting "GUITAR BOY" to Harrington, the handsome, sensitive youngster who is, apparently, quite gifted in the art of music making.
As it turns out, the Lions could have used Sanders on this day. Hollis Thomas makes 11 tackles and does his version of the T.O. celebration -- sit-ups on the sidelines with little Butchie, an Eagles security staffer, sitting on Thomas' belly with legs and arms folded.
It's a wild scene. The Eagles walk away with a tough road win.
Final Score: Eagles 17, Lions 7
GAME 4: At Chicago
It's the game before a bye weekend and Reid is concerned about his team's focus. The Bears start Rex Grossman, a humbled Florida alum who was, interestingly enough, the runner-up selection to Jessie Palmer in television's "The Bachelor" series. Grossman has bigger issues on his mind. He wants to be invited to Wilma McNabb's night-before meal for the Eagles' family and friends.
"I want McNabb's autograph -- and some of Mrs. McNabb's soup recipes," Grossman sheepishly admits during the week.
Anyway, back to Reid. He gathers the team in the hotel after they land in Chicago.
"Stay away from the wind tonight," Reid instructs the team. "And don't drink the water in Chicago. I hear they make it green sometimes."
Philadelphia sports personality Howard Eskin is then invited to address the team.
"I here," he says, dramatically, "to offer you all 15 percent discounts on fur coats. It's a tough town. Chicago is brutal. You can pay in cash or credit card..."
The Eagles get off to a strong start. Brian Westbrook scores two first quarter touchdowns and Correll Buckhalter catches a touchdown as the Eagles lead 21-0 at halftime.
McNabb completes 17 of 22 passes for 263 yards -- Owens has five catches and 80 yards -- and the Eagles win again. Four wins, zero losses. The bye week will be something to enjoy.
Final Score: Eagles 31, Bears 13
GAME 5: Vs. The Panthers
The rematch. No. THE rematch. Philadelphia is hungry for another chance at the Panthers and are further incited when Panthers cornerback Ricky Manning, Jr. starts mouthing off during the week.
"T.O. T.O. Who's T.O? I ain't got no problems covering T.O." says Manning. "I expect I'll dominate him on Sunday.
T.O. Celebration!
Owens isn't being drawn into the fracas. He's been on his best behavior since joining the Eagles and shows his mature side.
"I just want to know one thing," says Owens. "Who was Ricky Manning, Sr.?"
Owens goes wild -- catching 11 passes for 163 yards and three scores and the Eagles move to 5-0 with a blowout win. Owens admits after the game that he's having the best time of his life.
"I knew I made the right decision as soon as I signed," said Owens. "I'll do whatever Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb need. I just want to win the Super Bowl."
Rush Limbaugh, hired by FOX Sports before the season as an analyst, is put on the spot by Terry Bradshaw and is asked if he's changed his opinion of McNabb.
From his minimum-security cell, Limbaugh says, "I was wrong. I think that's obvious to all. Let me say this: I was not thinking clearly when I said that. McNabb is a great player. He needed somebody like Owens to bring it out of him."
Twenty-four hours later, Owens is named the National Spokesman of Boy Scouts of America.
Final Score: Eagles 45, Panthers 0
GAME 6: At The Browns
Jerome McDougle steps up. He's been making steady progress to date -- three sacks in five games -- but he goes off against the Browns. Two sacks, seven total tackles and one forced fumble. By game's end McDougle is barking in Jeff Garcia's ear as the Eagles defense continues its dominating role.
In fact, the defense has been an underrated element of the stunning start to the season. Kearse, McDougle and N.D. Kalu have already combined for 18 sacks through six games and the longest play allowed from scrimmage is just 17 yards.
Says Jim Johnson after the game: "I think we've made progress, I really do. I like the effort. Last night I scribbled 23 new blitz schemes on a napkin and darn it, the guys went out and executed them flawlessly. This is a good group, it really is."
Garcia weighs just 155 pounds after the game and is sent to a local hospital for observation. As the Eagles fly home, they receive word that Garcia has had a piece of McDougle's arm extracted from his throat. Apparently, the two got closer than even NFL Films showed.
Final Score: Eagles 19, Browns 3
GAME 7: Vs. The Ravens
Owens and Baltimore coach Brian Billick appear on The NFL Network during the week and discuss what really happened during Owens' very brief time as a member of the Ravens.
"I just didn't like the idea of having to peel my own seafood," said Owens. "In Philly, I've got Butchie, Jr. to do that for me. And this guy Eskin, he's, like, the best there is at washing cars. And I get a new Rolex every week. And you should see the deals I get for clothing at Ventresca's!"
Billick vows revenge, and 20 minutes before kickoff, he gets it. After pacing the field for two hours, Billick officially appeals to the league that the Ravens be awarded the victory because of field conditions at Lincoln Financial Field.
"It's not fair," says Billick to pool reporter Mark Eckel of The Trenton Times. "They have real grass in Philly and we have artificial turf in Baltimore. There's something tricky going on."
Speaking of real grass, Baltimore running back Jamal Lewis unable to get untracked. Darwin Walker enjoys a big, big game, stuffing Lewis for a 12-yard loss to open the day. Walker performs his "Shovel" celebration after the play, forcing Lewis who has been bothered by legal issues all season - to wince.
Walker appears at the post-game press conference, but before stepping to the podium he passes out business cards for his civil engineering firm to all the media.
"Just in case you want to build a legacy, like I'm doing," says Walker, smiling.
The media, seeing that the cards contain zero discounts for any food purchase, throw away the cards.
Owens, by the way, catches seven passes for 73 yards and a touchdown. Six more push-ups for Sharpies!!
Final Score: Eagles 21, Ravens 12
GAME 8: At The Steelers
It's hard to distinguish, it really is. Are the fans in Pittsburgh saying "DUUUUCCCCEEE" or are they booing the Steelers and Duce Staley? Pittsburgh is off to a tough start, but the playoffs are still in sight. This promises to be a war.
Bill Cowher, square jaw and all, go against the streamlined Andy Reid, who decides to open the game with a surprise attack.
He lines up David Akers and Koy Detmer to return the opening kickoff and Detmer takes the kick and heads down the left sideline. He streaks through the gaping hole and then pitches to Akers, who drop kicks the ball through the goal posts for ... for what?
What in the heck is he DOING????
The officials convene, and after a 10-minute conference and numerous instant replay conversations, the Eagles are awarded four points.
Armed with the early lead, the Eagles roll past Staley and the Steelers. Todd Pinkston, having a fine season as the No. 2 receiver, makes five catches and scores twice, and talks to the media after the game about his season-long success.
"Lots of cheesesteaks and milkshakes, honest," says Pinkston, a strapping 227 pounds. "I saw T.O. and knew I needed to get me a body like that. We have a new nickname -- Hans and Franz. We're The Beasts Of The East."
Staley's numbers: 27 yards on 15 carries.
Final Score: Eagles 39, Steelers 9
Game 9: At The Cowboys
A Monday nighter in Dallas. As a promotional ploy, the marketing folks in Dallas have Tom Hutton, Chris Boniol and Freddie Solomon serve as the honorary captains before the game, and the teeny-tiny video board at worn-out Texas Stadium plays grainy video of the last time the Eagles played on Monday Night Football in Dallas -- you remember the game -- when the Eagles missed a chippie field goal and lost to Dallas in 1997.
Anyway, the times are tough in Dallas. There are 45,000 Eagles fans in Texas Stadium and it's an ugly scene. The Cowboys have no chance.
A Correll Buckhalter 16-yard touchdown run starts things off and then L.J. Smith and Freddie Mitchell collaborate on a 35-yard touchdown play -- Mitchell to Smith -- and the Eagles are off to a 10-0 start.
Drew Henson plays the entire second half and the Eagles feast on him, downing him for seven sacks. By game's end, Troy Aikman is giving Henson concussion advice, and Jerry Jones is seen pointing his finger at Parcells as the two walk into the tunnel after an Eagles-sized whupping.
Final Score: Eagles 55, Dallas 14
GAME 10: Eagles Vs. The Redskins
Joe Gibbs is exhausted. He's been forced by Daniel Snyder to scrap the offense that so effectively won two Super Bowls for the Redskins and instead is running a modified version of the Run And Gun attack. June Jones, hired in October, is the offensive coordinator.
Reid unveils his surprise: Buddy Ryan returns as the defensive coordinator that week. He's been frothing at the mouth to get some revenge against Gibbs.
"There are two things I know," says Ryan. "I'm better lookin' than that old man, and I'm gonna shut down that offense in a heartbeat. You watch."
Ryan lives up to his word. The Eagles wear black high-topped cleats and smother the Redskins' offense as Sheppard records one interception and Michael Lewis forces a fumble to set the tone.
DE Jevon Kearse: What a reach!
Three streakers break through security and carry Ryan off the field. Ryan takes his cap off and waves to the crowd. It's a bizarre, memorable scene.
It's a breeze. The Eagles move to 11-0 and Sports Illustrated photographs a group hug of McNabb, Owens and Andy Reid, with Kearse reaching around all three men and raising his index finger three feet in the air.
We're No. 1!!! No, not yet. The Eagles have a three-game lead in the NFC East over the Giants. Look who's next on the schedule.
Final Score: Eagles 29, Redskins 12
GAME 11: Eagles At The Giants
Eli Manning is the starting quarterback for the Giants, and for a moment, Owens is confused.
"Are you telling me," Owens says at his mid-week press conference, "that this guy isn't related to that cat on the Panthers, and that dude on the Panthers isn't the son of that old quarterback? How many Manning's are in this league, anyway?"
The Giants, riding the momentum of their young quarterback, take an early lead on a Jeremy Shockey touchdown catch. His spike rattles Giants Stadium and sets the stage for an epic battle.
Philadelphia's offensive line dominates the day and the three-headed halfback tandem of Westbrook, Buckhalter and Reno Mahe gain more than 200 yards on the day. Mahe's final effort, a twisting 6-yard run gives the Eagles a thrilling win.
The play was set up by a Westbrook punt return -- the Giants failed to kick the ball out of bounds -- and Mahe did the rest.
After the game, he passes out discount cards to the media -- 5 percent off cheese fries at Chickie's and Pete's -- and the media surround Mahe for feature stories.
"I was washing the uniforms if I had to. I'll do anything to make this team," he said.
Final Score: Eagles 21, Giants 20
GAME 12: Eagles Vs. The Packers
Brett Favre returns to Philadelphia, but the drama from last year's playoff game isn't there. Brian Dawkins returns a Favre pass 63 yards in the first quarter and Favre tears an ego muscle trying to make the tackle. Green Bay turns to Doug Pederson.
The fans at Lincoln Financial Field have, well, a field day. They are enjoying the teasing of Pederson, a former Eagle. Pederson throws picks to Mark Simoneau and Nate Wayne, and then takes a jolting hit from Kearse and is woozy as he goes to the sidelines late in the fourth quarter.
At 12-0, there's real talk of the Eagles going unbeaten, but Reid will have none of the chatter.
"I'm not going to get into that," he says. "I'm focused on the Washington Redskins now."
GAME 13: Eagles At The Redskins
Joe Theisman, out of the ESPN booth and in his second game at the helm of the Redskins offense, holds a brief press conference during the week with the fascinated Philadelphia media.
"I basically have felt that I could play all these years. It took a guy like Joe Gibbs to get me out of retirement," says Theisman during his 2 ½-hour, one-breath press conference.
Turns out, the Eagles decide to blitz Theisman from the start. Corey Simon collects his 10th sack of the season, Kearse gets his 15th and the Eagles enjoy another big win in front of a national television audience at ESPN.
"This team is for real," says ESPN analyst Ron Jaworski. "This team reminds me of the 1980 Eagles team. Great quarterback..."
Final Score: Eagles 27, Redskins 3 GAME 14: Eagles Vs. The Cowboys
Dallas comes marching in with Chad Hutchinson as the quarterback, Jerry Jones calling the plays on offense and Jenny Jones serving as a spiritual advisor. Parcells is down to 138 pounds. He looks withered.
"No, no. Nothing wrong with me," he says. "We'll be fine."
Not the case. The Cowboys are done in during a third-quarter blitz during which Eagles offensive coordinator Brad Childress calls a double-reverse -- McNabb to Westbrook to Owens to Greg Lewis -- and Lewis goes 93 yards for a touchdown. After his score, Lewis break dances in the end zone, drawing an excessive celebration penalty.
"I just wanted to have some fun," said Lewis, who has gone from 165 pounds to 232 pounds on the Pinkston diet. "Next time, I'll have something even more special planned."
Final Score: Eagles 35, Cowboys 10
GAME 15: Eagles At The Rams
Kurt Warner is back at quarterback for the Rams and he tosses aside his walker and trots out on the field for the first snap of the game. A handoff to Marshall Faulk goes nowhere. N.D. Kalu sacks Warner on the second play from scrimmage -- the Eagles' 63rd sack of the season -- and the defense digs in.
With the game close, Mike Martz decides to punt the ball away on fourth and inches, and the Eagles get the ball back with a two-point lead and only 3:23 to play.
McNabb gains nine yards on a designed scramble/run on first down and then Jon Ritchie goes 64 yards on second down -- his first carry of the year -- and the Eagles clinch the win.
One more win and the Eagles have some history.
Final Score: Eagles 34, Rams 25
GAME 16: Eagles Vs. The Bengals
Bengals defensive coordinator Leslie Frazier and Cincy tight end Tony Stewart walk to the center of the field for the coin toss and the 7-8 Bengals look to secure a .500 record and the division title in the AFC North.
Young quarterback Carson Palmer, though, has never seen anything like the defense Johnson has in mind. JJ comes out with a 2-4-5 alignment and Palmer is completely befuddled. He looks over to head coach Marvin Lewis and holds his hands up.
"What am I supposed to do here?" says Palmer.
Paul Grasmanis and Jamaal Green record sacks early and Roderick Hood gets in on the fun with his third interception of the season and the defense pitches its first shutout of the season.
The Eagles finish the regular season 16-0. They've made history. Yet they know they have more to accomplish.
"We have our eyes on The Prize," says Freddie Mitchell, suddenly a prime-time team spokesman. "It's time to rest, regroup and focus on reaching the Super Bowl."
Final Score: Eagles 27, Bengals 0
So there you have it. Sixteen wins. I can see it happening just this way. Seriously.
This was posted on the Eagles official site. Not a fan site. They posted this garbage on an official website.
Keep talking. They have 3 offensive weapons, that can actually make an impact.(TO, Mcnabb, and Westbrook)
Lets count ours.
1. Brunell
2. Ramsey
3. Portis
4. Coles
5.Gardner
6. McCants
7. Thrash
8. Morton
9. (if he is still here) Candidate
10. Betts
11. Cartwright
I dear them to keep posting this garbage. A redskin will read it and pass it on to the team, and we will tear them up.
ey-Aid of the Redskins.