Man gets probation for pickle assault

[jeremyroyce]

http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_16283.aspx

Pickle Assault One Of The "Silliest Cases" In Recent Legal History

Wednesday October 31, 2007

CityNews.ca Staff

"If this is not the silliest case I've ever seen in this courtroom, it certainly is in the Top 10." Those are the words of Judge Scott Schofield from Niles, Michigan, about a case of assault that wound up before his bench this week. A man claims a friend's sudden attack led to a melee between the pair. The weapon of choice in this pas de deux? Two large pickles.

It started back on August 20th when Bobby Lee Bolen was hanging out at the home of a former friend named Jody Lee. Bolen went to the fridge to get some of the salty green delicacies but Lee objected. He told his friend there weren't enough to go around and to put them back. That started a fight between the pair, and Bolen wound up swearing at his buddy and storming out the door.

But he didn't stay away long. Bolen came back to the home, slamming Lee down on his couch and throwing two engorged gherkins at him. "Here's your damn pickles!" he spat.

The laughable case then turned more serious when witnesses say Bolen shoved another guest and started beating Lee with a telephone when he tried to call 911. The accused was charged with assault and cutting a phone line, but both counts were dismissed. His lawyer blames alcohol for the ridiculous rage, and Bolen was eventually sentenced to 54 days in jail, with credit for 54 days served and one year of probation.

All of which prompted the judge's original pronouncement about the absurdity of what led them all there in the first place. "The fact that it's silly doesn't mean that it's not serious," Schofield added.

Bolen was lucky he didn't face more jail time, after getting himself in what experts are calling a legal pickle.

[UK Skins Fan]

Well, coming hot on the heels of the UK sausage story, I fear we may be witnessing the start of an epidemic of food related assaults here.

People, for God sake, please keep your food locked away, safe from idle hands.