I am holding out

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 4:04 pm

I have recently retained the services of Drew Rosenhaus and he feels that the contract I originally signed when I began posting here which offered no financial compensation of any type is "an abomination, a crime against nature and mean" (his words, not mine)
To that end, until the front office agrees to enter renegotiations, I will not ... er, that is I will no longer ... hmmm, I don't really provide anything of value ... I'll get back to you on that but trust me, whatever it is I stop doing, you might notice it eventually if you remember!

NC43Hog · Post by **NC43Hog** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 4:07 pm

Who's Fios? :hmm:

Chris Luva Luva · Post by **Chris Luva Luva** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 4:08 pm

Fios wrote:I have recently retained the services of Drew Rosenhaus and he feels that the contract I originally signed when I began posting here which offered no financial compensation of any type is "an abomination, a crime against nature and mean" (his words, not mine)
To that end, until the front office agrees to enter renegotiations, I will not ... er, that is I will no longer ... hmmm, I don't really provide anything of value ... I'll get back to you on that but trust me, whatever it is I stop doing, you might notice it eventually if you remember!

Cut him. Its June 1st, we can find younger, cheaper talent with some promise. We have enough headache.

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 4:51 pm

Crap, I seem to have overplayed my hand ... badly ... is it too late to agree to rework my salary? I'm willing to defer money to mitigate my impact on the cap.

Gibbs' Hog · Post by **Gibbs' Hog** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:34 pm

Just tell Drew to sit tight...2007 might be a good year for your demands.

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:44 pm

News Flash: While tearing ass, stark naked, around a local minefield on my steel-blade encrusted, rocket-powered moped, I crashed into a brick wall at approximately 657 mph. I did NOT tear my ACL.

ToxicSkin · Post by **ToxicSkin** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:55 pm

But you HAD to have torn or broke something.

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 6:17 pm

OK, Mr. Picky, I did but who needs a spine anymore what with technology and all that?
Oh, and if anyone has an extra set of lungs, that would be super.

1niksder · Post by **1niksder** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 7:39 pm

Fios wrote:OK, Mr. Picky, I did but who needs a spine anymore what with technology and all that?
Oh, and if anyone has an extra set of lungs, that would be super.

You are still posting so you haven't voided the contract that you want to renegotiate, so you and Drew might want to put your heads together and see how much coin you'll be giving back.

Unless you find another lung or two there is no way you make it through a complete game day thread...... and that will void the contract that's not being honored

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 7:46 pm

1niksder wrote:You are still posting so you haven't voided the contract that you want to renegotiate, so you and Drew might want to put your heads together and see how much coin you'll be giving back.

Unless you find another lung or two there is no way you make it through a complete game day thread...... and that will void the contract that's not being honored

OK, now I've killed Drew and I am harvesting his organs ... hmmm, that's interesting, he doesn't have a spine ... so, minus his fees, I'd be willing to cut my cap number in half for a larger signing bonus

tsaler · Post by **tsaler** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 9:39 pm

It might have been funnier, instead of crashing a motorbike, if you had pulled a Kalimba Edwards (or even a Randy Moss) by turning a routine traffic stop into a felony because you have no self-control or decision-making ability.

Redskin in Canada · Post by **Redskin in Canada** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 9:41 pm

FIOS has had the spotlight on him all year. He just needs to chill...

RiC

Punu · Post by **Punu** » Thu Jun 02, 2005 12:16 am

Fios we need you to go all the way

Gibbs' Hog · Post by **Gibbs' Hog** » Thu Jun 02, 2005 10:15 am

Fios wrote:OK, now I've killed Drew

It's about time!

Fios wrote:and I am harvesting his organs

That can't be good...the reincarnation could be worse than the original :shock:

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Thu Jun 02, 2005 7:18 pm

tsaler wrote:It might have been funnier, instead of crashing a motorbike, if you had pulled a Kalimba Edwards (or even a Randy Moss) by turning a routine traffic stop into a felony because you have no self-control or decision-making ability.

Fine, fine, drag it out of me ... OK, so apparently my bike isn't "street legal" and I had managed to "run a series of red lgihts leading, directly or indirectly, to the deaths of some 457 people, six cats, five goats and Rossie O'Donnel (I was actually honored for the last one)" and this cop is all like "hey man that's illegal" and when the gunsmoke cleared I'm all like "yeah, what of it pig" and then I fled for the minefield.

General Failure · Post by **General Failure** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 4:37 am

The goats will be avenged. Watch your back.

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 1:28 pm

I actually doubled back for the goats ... bring it on biatch

JansenFan · Post by **JansenFan** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 1:38 pm

As a member of management, we've discussed out options and are prepared to make an offer. We will pay you $10 per post, but for every minute of the day you do not post, we will demand a payment of $10.

Now that you have "gotten rid" of Drew Rosenhaus, I took the liberty of contacting your new agents, the Poston's. I told them about the $10 per post, so they promptly initialed every page and forged your signature.

I asked them if they wanted to read the resst of the contract, but they said thehen we go to arbitration, something about us promising to pay $10 dollars twice for every post.

Of course, this is an incentive laden contract. For the payments to kick in, you must post every day for the rest of your life, plus 1 additional day. Each post must hava minimum of 300 words, none of which may be in the following list:
a
the
I
Washington
Redskins
Super
Bowl
Gibbs
Williams
LaVar
theHogs.net
Fios
CrazyHorse

Also, and typos or mispellings make the contract null and void and opens an opportunity for the site to recoup any costs.

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 2:02 pm

Crap ... on my doctor's advice, me must tender my resignation to pursue lifelong dream to smoke weed every day while being married to Angelina Jolie. It's unfair but me is willing to accept any potential monetary losses. And Angelina insists that me do not work. Me has enjoyed my time as professional but me has lost desire to play. This is final, please avoid any rumors of a comeback.

JansenFan · Post by **JansenFan** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 2:22 pm

Good luck with the ganj hiatus. Please contact us in a few months and work out parameters for your return, only to reject the deal later.

Wysocki · Post by **Wysocki** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 3:27 pm

What, Fios is quitting? (panic) Give him whatever he wants!! We can't lose this guy - he gave me his autograph once! If this HOF'er is not signed it will prove that this front office is run by idiots...

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 3:28 pm

Listen, it turns out I can't actually make money smoking weed and Angelina has never heard of me and the police officer says I need to stop calling. Annnnnnnnnnnywho, the long and short of it is apparently this "idea" came to me in a "dream" which is "not real" but I was ignorant of that fact. So I am suing nature for compensation for not including a disclaimer saying "Warning, what you are about to witness is a dream, the events in it have no bearing on reality." Nature took advantage of my youth and naivete and I plan on suing the crap out of it. Who's coming with me?

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 3:31 pm

Also, Peter King is voting against my HOF ballot for not enough "downfield action" ... wait, scratch that ... it actually says for not enough "going down on Peter King action either through words or actions" ... ew, gross Peter ... I mean I recognize King Dick is the phallic inverse of your name but let it go fatty.

Redskin in Canada · Post by **Redskin in Canada** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 9:41 pm

I hear the cops in Florida may be looking for you ;furious;

Fios · Post by **Fios** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 7:57 pm

Yes, yes they are, and you are going to be shocked by what I say next: As it turns out, "Grand Theft Auto" is probably NOT a real-life documentary which I am free to recreate on the streets of Miami. HUH? Why don't people tell me these things? If you think the people I shot at made for bad news, just wait until you hear about the dead hooker (I needed the cash) and the trail of pedestrians I flattened with a stolen tank.

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