We were bored at work the other day which resulted in an e-mail soliticing movie ideas. Here is mine:
Genre of Film: Romantic action-adventure tragi-comedy
Lead Actor: Chuck Norris
Lead Actress: Queen* Latifah
Supporting Actor: Chris Tucker
Supporting Actress: Barbra Streisand*
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Plot of movie (optional): A white man (Chuck Norris) who is undeniably white (more accurately, he is awkwardly and embarrassingly white) thinks he maybe, might be a black man because he has a decent jump shot, owns a copy of "Shaft" (OK, it's the 2000 version ... OK, he doesn't technically "own" it .. fine, it's an overdue rental but it still counts) and has always felt that Tupac was speaking directly to him goes on a quest to find his "real" mother (as opposed to his birth mother) played by Queen Latifah.
He teams up with Chris Tucker in a ground-breaking piece of filmmaking in which a black and white person are paired together as a little hilarity, and a lot of understanding, ensues.
Tucker's trademark fingernails-on-a-chalkboard personality adds to every hilarious* scene in which he yells "You ain't white, you are crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaazzy." (4,562 times in total)
The highlight of this 12-hour, 56-minute marathon is a 56-minute rap-off between Norris and Streisand which, somehow, has a strongly homo-erotic undercurrent and might be the most depressing thing ever recorded were it not for Steven Seagal's entire career.
In a typically bizarre Tarantino twist ending, Norris is executed once for every episode of Walker Texas Ranger that sucked, for a grand total of a lot of executions as each episode sucked.
*Not actually a queen
*Not actually talented
*Not actually funny
My movie idea
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Fios
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My movie idea
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REDEEMEDSKIN
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Justice Hog
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Re: My movie idea
Fios wrote:He teams up with Chris Tucker in a ground-breaking piece of filmmaking in which a black and white person are paired together as a little hilarity, and a lot of understanding, ensues.
That's part of the joke
RIP Sean Taylor
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JansenFan
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Is it the Chris Tucker from Friday or the new religious Chris Tucker who wouldn't do Next Friday because he didn't want to curse?
RIP 21
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"Nah, I trust the laws of nature to stay constant. I don't pray that the sun will rise tomorrow, and I don't need to pray that someone will beat the Cowboys in the playoffs." - Irn-Bru
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General Failure
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Skinsfan55
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General Failure wrote:It needs an animal. Either a talking animal or a very charismatic and intelligent animal. If it's a completely CGI animal that's even better.
No, no my friend... for this movie to work Chuck Norris' best friend needs to be a talking pie
"Guess [Ryan Kerrigan] really does have a good motor. And is relentless. And never quits on a play. And just keeps coming. And probably eats Wheaties and drinks Apple Pie smoothies and shaves with Valvoline." -Dan Steinberg DC Sports Bog
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General Failure
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