What a disaster! Part II

KazooSkinsFan · Post by **KazooSkinsFan** » Fri Jul 25, 2014 8:13 am

Let's get this out of the way. I want to be the first to have had a hysterical meltdown so I have that in my pocket for the blue sky fans.

OMG, the first day of camp and everything has fallen apart! RG3 can't throw, he never did recover. Our draft class is a bust, not one has established themselves as a starter yet. Moses has already shown us we just flushed our third down pick. We won't have a pro-bowler. Hatcher is probably done for the year, our pass rush won't and other teams will pick our secondary apart with however much time they need to do it. Porter and over the hill Ryan? Seriously? That's how we upgraded the secondary? Without Fletcher we're not going to stop another running play short of a first down. Our leading tackler will be Deangelo Hall.

And the offensive line, we overpaid for an upgrade at guard who isn't. Then we made our old guard better by ... moving him to center ... Meanwhile, Chester and Polumbus are still freaking starting, we might as well not have a right side of the line. And upgrade at receiver? Fa get a bout it. We start on the right track by signing Roberts, then sign a locker room in it for himself cancer and sit Roberts. What the heck? Could we not have used some of that money for a ... you know ... offensive line?

Clearly we hired the wrong Gruden. He only got the job because of his brother, what has he ever done? Allen is just Danny's sycophant, he is the scarecrow in search of a brain. Wow, we open camp and the first thing we see is that nothing changed. NOTHING. It's over, we're toast.

langleyparkjoe · Post by **langleyparkjoe** » Fri Jul 25, 2014 1:07 pm

Well said!

cowboykillerzRGiii · Post by **cowboykillerzRGiii** » Fri Jul 25, 2014 3:30 pm

I know you forgot to say the obvious but just so its on record... RGIII is a total bust and nothing but a big headed pre-madona. HE is the biggest cancer w his Snyder love affair and me first attitude. His backyard gimic football tossing is a flash in the pan and he still cant read a D or make an audible. The brace wasn't the problem the kings ransom we gave up for him is!
Clearly Cousins would have been hitting targets all day rain sleet or snow!
Meangelo is our best db and couldn't cover a toddler w a blanky!

AND the worst part is we are seriously contemplating replacing our best and most consistent player (Kai Forbath) w a stoner kid who had a jew fro in college just because he can kick it half a yard further on KOs!

Despite what everyone says... Snyder IS running this team (into the ground) still, and quite obviously works for the Jerruh!

NOW I think we covered everything Kazoo? ?

Neo · Post by **Neo** » Fri Jul 25, 2014 3:53 pm

Why gentlemen....why? Last year we did this and the prophecy came true; must reverse the curse

KazooSkinsFan · Post by **KazooSkinsFan** » Fri Jul 25, 2014 4:20 pm

cowboykillerzRGiii wrote:I know you forgot to say the obvious but just so its on record... RGIII is a total bust and nothing but a big headed pre-madona. HE is the biggest cancer w his Snyder love affair and me first attitude. His backyard gimic football tossing is a flash in the pan and he still can read a D or make an audible. The brace wasn't the problem the kings ransom we gave up for him is!
Clearly Cousins would have been hitting targets all day rain sleet or snow!
Meangelo is our best db and couldn't cover a toddler w a blanky!

AND the worst part is we are seriously contemplating replacing our best and most consistent player (Kai Forbath) w a stoner kid who had a jew fro in college just because he can kick it half a yard further on KOs!

Despite what everyone says... Snyder IS running this team (into the ground) still, and quite obviously works for the Jerruh!

NOW I think we covered everything Kazoo? ?

Nice contributions, killer, thanks!

I totally meant to mention Forbath and forgot. I was going to say how great he is at extra points, but he never gets to attempt any and he is great at field goals, as long as they aren't longer than an extra point...

KazooSkinsFan · Post by **KazooSkinsFan** » Fri Jul 25, 2014 4:21 pm

Neo wrote:Why gentlemen....why? Last year we did this and the prophecy came true; must reverse the curse

I'm not superstitious

KazooSkinsFan · Post by **KazooSkinsFan** » Fri Jul 25, 2014 7:40 pm

langleyparkjoe wrote:=D>

Well said!

Thanks Langley, you can always count on me for doom and gloom!

PulpExposure · Post by **PulpExposure** » Sat Jul 26, 2014 12:09 am

You forgot that Alfred Morris is just a Shanahan by-product of the zone blocking system and can't run in anything but that...

yupchagee · Post by **yupchagee** » Sun Jul 27, 2014 12:35 am

KazooSkinsFan wrote:
Neo wrote:Why gentlemen....why? Last year we did this and the prophecy came true; must reverse the curse

I'm not superstitious

Good. It's bad luck to be superstitious.

oj · Post by oj » Sun Jul 27, 2014 10:22 am

Don't forget the turrible coaching, they don't even know the names of the players! A total bust, what're we to do?

DarthMonk · Post by **DarthMonk** » Sun Jul 27, 2014 3:37 pm

yupchagee wrote:
KazooSkinsFan wrote:
Neo wrote:Why gentlemen....why? Last year we did this and the prophecy came true; must reverse the curse

I'm not superstitious

Good. It's bad luck to be superstitious.

If only Dan were smart enough to rehire Vinnie. Then we would see a real plan in action. This guy Allen who insists on contracts more in line with league norms really scares me. The destruction he has wrought up to now is only the tip of the iceberg that is about to be exposed.

I guess I'll watch the games so I can speak (gloat) with first-hand knowledge when it all comes crashing down.

-drinking

Kilmer72 · Post by **Kilmer72** » Sun Jul 27, 2014 7:21 pm

Not sure what you guys are talkin about http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5TqIdff_DQ

DarthMonk · Post by **DarthMonk** » Sun Jul 27, 2014 8:22 pm

Kilmer72 wrote:Not sure what you guys are talkin about http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5TqIdff_DQ

In case anyone was wondering ...

... I feel good!

langleyparkjoe · Post by **langleyparkjoe** » Mon Jul 28, 2014 8:43 am

I personally always felt a good coach will say our colors are maroon and yellow.

DarthMonk · Post by **DarthMonk** » Mon Jul 28, 2014 10:42 am

langleyparkjoe wrote:I personally always felt a good coach will say our colors are maroon and yellow.

Well that explains Jim Zorn then since he said maroon and black ... I think.

KazooSkinsFan · Post by **KazooSkinsFan** » Mon Jul 28, 2014 10:57 am

yupchagee wrote:
KazooSkinsFan wrote:
Neo wrote:Why gentlemen....why? Last year we did this and the prophecy came true; must reverse the curse

I'm not superstitious

Good. It's bad luck to be superstitious.

Yes it is! Which is why I don't go for it. {knock wood, throw salt over shoulder} So we're good.

KazooSkinsFan · Post by **KazooSkinsFan** » Mon Jul 28, 2014 10:58 am

PulpExposure wrote:You forgot that Alfred Morris is just a Shanahan by-product of the zone blocking system and can't run in anything but that...

Yeah, he was a sixth round pick! He can't be any good.

KazooSkinsFan · Post by **KazooSkinsFan** » Mon Jul 28, 2014 11:00 am

DarthMonk wrote:If only Dan were smart enough to rehire Vinnie. Then we would see a real plan in action.

Like in The World According to Garp when the plane crashed into the house, and Garp said, Ill take it! The odds of a plane hitting a house ... twice ... have to be almost zero!

SCSkinsFan · Post by **SCSkinsFan** » Tue Jul 29, 2014 10:28 am

Obviously the sky has truly fallen. The season is over before it even started. #-o

yupchagee · Post by **yupchagee** » Wed Jul 30, 2014 7:22 pm

SCSkinsFan wrote:Obviously the sky has truly fallen. The season is over before it even started.

The sky is NOT falling. The Earth is RISING!

SCSkinsFan · Post by **SCSkinsFan** » Thu Jul 31, 2014 11:43 am

yupchagee wrote:
SCSkinsFan wrote:Obviously the sky has truly fallen. The season is over before it even started.

The sky is NOT falling. The Earth is RISING!

Another Global Warming Conspiracy theory. Yikes! :shock:

markshark84 · Post by **markshark84** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 1:46 pm

Neo wrote:Why gentlemen....why? Last year we did this and the prophecy came true; must reverse the curse

I was thinking the same thing. Posters have created these threads before every season since I have been on the site and we've only made the playoffs 1 time since I joined!!!

Deadskins · Post by **Deadskins** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 1:49 pm

markshark84 wrote:we've only made the playoffs 1 time since I joined!!!

Maybe it's you. :shock:

DarthMonk · Post by **DarthMonk** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 2:40 pm

Deadskins wrote:
markshark84 wrote:we've only made the playoffs 1 time since I joined!!!

Maybe it's you.

He a Hognostitraitor?

KazooSkinsFan · Post by **KazooSkinsFan** » Mon Aug 04, 2014 3:04 pm

markshark84 wrote:
Neo wrote:Why gentlemen....why? Last year we did this and the prophecy came true; must reverse the curse

I was thinking the same thing. Posters have created these threads before every season since I have been on the site and we've only made the playoffs 1 time since I joined!!!

People usually start them after we lose our first game. This is the second time it's been done preemptively, both by me.

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