Xmas Poem for the Board
Posted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 6:13 pm
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
All of Darth’s family was drunk as a louse;
Welch and 1niksder were singin’ a song,
While langleyparkjoe was hittin’ the bong;
The gratefully Deadman was all snug in his bed,
While visions of sugar-cubes danced in his head;
And Trey in his 'kerchief, and Bru in his cap,
Had just settled down to hit on the tap;
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
SkinsJock awoke to see what was the matter;
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Accidentally scattering LPJ’s stash;
The Moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to SouthLondon’s blow;
When, what to SkinsJock’s dazed eyes should appear,
But freaking Bruce Allen, agrin ear-to-ear;
With a little old driver, right next to Shanny,
He knew in a moment it must be The Danny;
More rapid than eagles his coaches they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Kyle! now, Jim! now, Bobby and Keith!,
To the top of the porch! And look out for the wreath!;
As the dry heaves that from McNugget’s gut surge,
When they meet with the pressure, that can cause him to purge;
So up to the house-top the coaches they flew,
With the sleigh full of playbooks, and bad game plans too;
And then, in a twinkling, SJ heard on the roof,
The prancing and pawing of each little goof;
As I quaffed one more Belgian, and was turning around,
St. Shanny sans Danny arrived with a bound;
He was dressed in a Speedo, his chest a stark white,
His lobster-esque face giving SkinsJock a fright;
Free agent contracts he had flung on his back,
With 16 extra million stuffed in his pack;
His brow -- how wrinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nipples quite scary!
His droll little mouth was drawn up in a sneer,
And the stubble on his chin made me spit up some beer;
He tapped out his pipe on an old window sill,
Which langleyparkjoe did gladly refill;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his job,
With two little elves - the Captain and Bob;
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He mistakenly snorted all of SJ’s NoDoze;
Whence he sprang to his sleigh, headed north for the Pole,
Saying "Happy Christmas to all, and don’t feed the troll!"
All of Darth’s family was drunk as a louse;
Welch and 1niksder were singin’ a song,
While langleyparkjoe was hittin’ the bong;
The gratefully Deadman was all snug in his bed,
While visions of sugar-cubes danced in his head;
And Trey in his 'kerchief, and Bru in his cap,
Had just settled down to hit on the tap;
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
SkinsJock awoke to see what was the matter;
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Accidentally scattering LPJ’s stash;
The Moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to SouthLondon’s blow;
When, what to SkinsJock’s dazed eyes should appear,
But freaking Bruce Allen, agrin ear-to-ear;
With a little old driver, right next to Shanny,
He knew in a moment it must be The Danny;
More rapid than eagles his coaches they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Kyle! now, Jim! now, Bobby and Keith!,
To the top of the porch! And look out for the wreath!;
As the dry heaves that from McNugget’s gut surge,
When they meet with the pressure, that can cause him to purge;
So up to the house-top the coaches they flew,
With the sleigh full of playbooks, and bad game plans too;
And then, in a twinkling, SJ heard on the roof,
The prancing and pawing of each little goof;
As I quaffed one more Belgian, and was turning around,
St. Shanny sans Danny arrived with a bound;
He was dressed in a Speedo, his chest a stark white,
His lobster-esque face giving SkinsJock a fright;
Free agent contracts he had flung on his back,
With 16 extra million stuffed in his pack;
His brow -- how wrinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nipples quite scary!
His droll little mouth was drawn up in a sneer,
And the stubble on his chin made me spit up some beer;
He tapped out his pipe on an old window sill,
Which langleyparkjoe did gladly refill;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his job,
With two little elves - the Captain and Bob;
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He mistakenly snorted all of SJ’s NoDoze;
Whence he sprang to his sleigh, headed north for the Pole,
Saying "Happy Christmas to all, and don’t feed the troll!"
