The Loser Papers - 2010 Edition
Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 12:50 am
Ah yes, the sweetest edition of "The Loser Papers" (TLP) comes from the heart of Texas. And this being the season opener, is just a cherry on top. TLP, of course, are the articles from the newspapers of the Redskins' vanquished foes. They let us hear the untold stories of how their team could have won if only... Anyway, on with the fun! From the pages of the Dallas Morning News, I give you an early Sunday night edition:
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent ... cb6b3.html
Taylor: Cowboys' stagnant, mistake-filled opener shouldn't surprise anyoneVERNON BRYANT / DMN
11:25 PM CDT on Sunday, September 12, 2010
COLUMN By By JEAN-JACQUES TAYLOR / The Dallas Morning News
jjtaylor@dallasnews.com
LANDOVER, Md. – Really, you couldn't’t have been shocked by the way the Cowboys lost their first game of the season.
It seemed so fitting.
Why wouldn’t an offense that made so many dumb mistakes and mental blunders against Washington, make one more error that ensured it would lose instead of win?
Alex Barron, acquired for first-round bust Bobby Carpenter in the off-season, showed the world why the St. Louis Rams willingly traded their starting left tackle.
On the game’s final play, Barron put a chokehold on Brian Orakpo that would’ve made wrestling superstar John Cena proud, negating Tony Romo’s apparent 13-yard touchdown pass to Roy Williams with no time remaining.
While Marion Barber took a flying leap on Williams’ back, knocking him to the ground, and Miles Austin joined the celebration, Washington quarterback Donovan McNabb took a look at the yellow hanky on the ground and thrust both arms in the air.
When the offense commits a penalty on the game’s final play, they don’t get a mulligan.
Game over.
Washington 13. Dallas 7.
Guess we better pump the brakes on all that Super Bowl talk. We’d probably be better served trying to figure out who lied to us about the Cowboys’ offense.
Maybe it was offensive coordinator Jason Garrett or Wade Phillips. It could’ve been Tony Romo. Perhaps, Jerry Jones did it.
For now, all we know is the Cowboys promised us a better, more efficient offense once the regular season started.
The players and coaches swore the stagnant unit we saw throughout the preseason was the result of vanilla game plans and poor execution because they thought it was more important to look at individual players than the totality of the offense.
More than one member of the offense became indignant at any suggestion that the offense would find a rhythm once the season began.
Well, we’re still waiting.
The Cowboys better figure out their offensive issues quickly because after next week’s game against Chicago, the Cowboys spend six of the next seven weeks playing against quality teams that will be in the playoff hunt.
The Cowboys’ offense, so inept the starters managed just one eight-yard touchdown drive during the preseason, looked like the same old raggedy unit we saw throughout the summer.
Now, those of who you wave pom-poms when you watch the game, can blame the loss of left guard Kyle Kosier (knee) and right tackle Marc Colombo (knee) on their offensive struggles.
You might even say losing Dez Bryant for much of the preseason affected the offensive chemistry.
There may be some truth to those theories. The reality, however, is this unit makes way too many mistakes, whether we’re talking assignment busts, penalties or poor execution.
All of that was on display Sunday night, including one the dumbest play calls you’ll ever see that resulted in a fumble return for the Redskins on the final play of the first half.
Did I mention it was the only touchdown the Redskins scored?
The stats don’t tell the whole story. They rarely do. But the Cowboys piled up enough numbers to make the fantasy football addicts happy.
Romo passed for 282 yards and a touchdown, and Miles Austin had a 146 yards and a touchdown.
So what.
We figured out last season that yards usually don’t equate to points with this team. The Cowboys finished second in the NFL in yards last season, but 14th in points.
The Cowboys only touchdown drive was the result of a gift.
After a three-and-out, Washington punter Josh Bidwell hit a 27-yard punt that gave Dallas the ball at the Redskins 34. Six plays later, Romo hit Austin for a four-yard touchdown pass.
That was it.
The Cowboys had the ball three times in the fourth quarter with an opportunity to take the lead.
Each time, they failed.
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent ... cb6b3.html