The-Hogs.net - Washington Football Discussion, Redskins to Commanders Era

Brief (hopefully) introductory sentence preparing reader for gist of post. Continuation of opening paragraph intended to bring reader to brink of correctly anticipating thesis about to ensue.

Claim or thesis statement often incorporating and generally boiling down to the title of the thread.

Brief digression expressing humility while actually designed to gain sympathy and hopefully support of reader (IMHO).

Beginning of anecdotal evidence in support of thesis often including, but not requiring, additional seemingly reasonable but factually unsupported speculations designed to lend further credence to the title of the thread. Tangential speculations that add nothing to the argument but which potentially spawn quoted rebuttals. Statement of supporting stats to follow.

Cherry picked stats which, upon closer examination, sometimes actually prove title of the thread to be incorrect.

Appropriate emoticon.

www.link_showing_stats_are_real.com

Appeal to alleged authority, whose qualifications are often completely irrelevant, in attempt to further bolster legitimacy of the title of the thread followed by general call to readers for comments and possible alternative positions.

Hopefully clever username designed to invoke admiration of reader and perhaps even a little envy.

The title of this thread is wrong!

I have a link to prove this but I couldn't get it to work, you'll just have to take my word for it.








edited because I can't type or spell

One-liner sarcastic/witty comment in reply, ambiguous in nature.

joebagadonuts wrote:One-liner sarcastic/witty comment in reply, ambiguous in nature.

Acknowledgement of first response indicating basic understanding of the title of the thread.

Expression of sadness and slight confusion that first decent response took so long.

Brief aside expressing hope of intelligent posts to follow.

General thanks.

Username

Not to be out done, poster must respond in an effort to keep up.







Even though he knows, he is in a losing battle.

Quoted post that utilizes emoticons to indicate whether replier is supportive of or angered by whatever the quoted post is expressing

Reference to other unrelated debate that I've had with Username. Bashing of Username's current position based on older, unresolved dispute. Rolling eyes to show general disdain. Can't get my head around the fact that Username won't agree with me on this.

Disclaimer sentence designed to show that I'm attacking the post and not the person.

Attempt to ease tension by rekindling inside joke with other poster as though we have some kind of meaningful relationship on an internet message board.

Acknowlege of attempt to ease tension by stating and understaning of what other poster is saying.

But the poster can't let it go and continues to respond to only the bits and peices that the poster can prove while ingnoring and not responding to others.

Quote of only small portions of previous posts.

More cherry picked stats to prove a very closed minded point.

Then ending the post by saying somthing to appear to be open minded.

Generic moderator warning imploring the waring parties to abide by the personal attack rules. This is often followed by one of the two parties asking how they violated said rule and accusing the other person of more egregious violations. Moderator is then forced to reiterate that the thread has not been moved or locked and that the post was a reminder to adhere to the rules, not an admonishment.

No, I have no idea what anybody here is talking about.

Irn-Bru wrote:Reference to other unrelated debate that I've had with Username. Bashing of Username's current position based on older, unresolved dispute. Rolling eyes to show general disdain. Can't get my head around the fact that Username won't agree with me on this.

Acknowledgement of several such unresolved debates coupled with admission to ignorance of particular instance cited above. Proclamation of intention to "stick to my guns" regardless.

Disclaimer sentence designed to show that I'm attacking the post and not the person.

Expression of appreciation from sometimes oversensitive poster.

Attempt to ease tension by rekindling inside joke with other poster

Relevant em ticon.

as though we have some kind of meaningful relationship on an internet message board.

Noting of cleverness and complete understanding of title of the thread exhibited by Irn-Bru.

Username

UK Skins Fan wrote:No, I have no idea what anybody here is talking about.

Mild expression of disappointment that seemingly otherwise intelligent poster does not understand title of the thread.

Link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zc1Js9P3urw to related youtube video.

Username

Re-entry into the thread, claiming to have "thought it over more." Stated opinion clearly has not changed, but "fresh look" ethos contributes to a rhetorical edge. Seeming willingness to reconsider opinion makes Username look more extreme in holding to his view so strongly.

Development of fresh thoughts combined with new selected statistics to make Username's argument appear antediluvian and not taking into account today's NFL. Reference (of ambiguous nature) to other franchises who have had greater success than the Redskins in recent seasons. Point out that, among about 8,000 variables, they happen to embody my version of this argument, not Username's.

Correlation proves causation. Checkmate, Irn-Bru.

Use of multiple "rolling on the floor laughing my ass off" smilies to indicate that I think the previous poster is both riotously funny and totally clueless... (but also provides the givaway that I have no idea what he just said)

semi-funny random interjection from poster uninvolved.

emoticons

Irn-Bru wrote:Re-entry into the thread, claiming to have "thought it over more." Stated opinion clearly has not changed, but "fresh look" ethos contributes to a rhetorical edge. Seeming willingness to reconsider opinion makes Username look more extreme in holding to his view so strongly.

Recognition of increasing hilarity of Inu-Bru accompanied by A FEW CAPS before exposing "fresh look" = "rhetorical edge" claim as yet another easily-seen-through way for incorrect poster to sound thoughtful and open minded when clearly arrogant and wrong the whole time.

Development of fresh thoughts combined with new selected statistics to make Username's argument appear antediluvian and not taking into account today's NFL. Reference (of ambiguous nature) to other franchises who have had greater success than the Redskins in recent seasons. Point out that, among about 8,000 variables, they happen to embody my version of this argument, not Username's.

A FEW MORE (AND BOLD) CAPS SHOWING (UNINTERESTED) READERS THAT "FRESH THOUGHTS" ABOVE ARE PLAGARIZED - ENDING WITH EXCLAMATION POINT!

Correlation proves causation. Checkmate, Irn-Bru.

Expression of hope that above quote is as funny to poster as it is to Username.

Completely unrelated statement of support for politician Inu-Bru is known to irrationally hate.

Usename

Troll/spam/postcount padding.

Hooligan wrote:Troll/spam/postcount padding.

Humble (IMHO) acknowledgement of most excellent way to pad post count.

Username

Troll/spam/postcount padding.

Rolling eyes emoticon, followed by mocking response which completely takes the bait, and displays considerable exasperation with ignorant troll.

Late-to-the-thread user posts 5,000 word reply rehashing much of what has already been written and doing it in such a way that the poster is obviously convinced of his own brilliance, convinced that his post will be THE post to brilliantly condense the topic to its core principles. Usually takes the form of "come on guys, X is obviously the answer."

Fios wrote:Generic moderator warning imploring the waring parties to abide by the personal attack rules. This is often followed by one of the two parties asking how they violated said rule and accusing the other person of more egregious violations. Moderator is then forced to reiterate that the thread has not been moved or locked and that the post was a reminder to adhere to the rules, not an admonishment.

Angry & obnoxious rant claiming that said moderator is a bully, and is abusing his authority. Possible obscure and irrelevant references to the U.S. Constitution. Empty threats to leave the board, implying that someone actually cares.

More friendly and half-kidding (while still vague) comment about said moderator, in an attempt to avoid being kicked off the board. Emoticon.

Attempts to close username account entirely in vain as board permissions do not allow username to close username's own account.

Exodus

Succinct, scathing, cut-to-the-quick post by head admin that ends the topic, wrapping up a thread that meandered and had nowhere to go. Post ends with whistling emoticon...

Insinuation that a certain staff member is fond of a baked treat of an Italian nature

Attempt to sneak in another argument after thread has drifted and Username has not been to the board in a few days. Hope abounds that thread will be buried in forum that has gotten busy recently over trade rumor / coaching decision. Short and sweet summation that will (hopefully) go down as the last post in this thread, creating some sense of finality and giving Irn-Bru the proverbial last word.

Contemplation of adding in additional statistics followed by a 30 minutes of fishing around pro football reference. (No set of stats, however manipulated, seems useful for purpose.) Opt for quick exit and proceed to defensive strategy of hoping Username doesn't notice post amidst sea of other threads.

Leaving this thread to contribute posts of questionable substance to several others, moving them to the top and pushing this one below the realm of active debate.