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Pretentious joke o' the day

Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 4:32 pm
by Irn-Bru
This marks the first time that I'll have posted something on THN that I got in an e-mail forward. I would say it's the last, but I don't know the limits on my own boredom. . .


At a brewery convention somewhere in the U.S., the presidents of four of the major breweries go into a local bar. The bartender asks what he can get for them.
The president of Corona says, "I'll have Corona, the finest beer in the world."
The president of Anheuser-Busch says, "Nothing but the King of Beers for me--a Budweiser!"
The president of Coors says, "I'll have a Coors, the beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water."
The bartender turns to the president of Guinness, which makes Harp Lager, and asks, "And I suppose you'll be having a Harp, sir?"

"Naw," says the president of Guinness. "I'll have a Coca-Cola. Since these guys aren't drinking beer, I probably shouldn't, either."

Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 8:14 pm
by air_hog
Nice, but at first I was like, "Irn-Bru"...

You may be Irn-Bru in our program, but you always be FFA in my heart. :wink:

Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 10:35 pm
by Deadskins
An Englishman, A Scotsman, and an Irishman are all drinking Guinness in a pub. A fly lands on the lip of the Englishman's pint, and he shoos it away. It flies over and lands on the lip of the Scotsman's pint, and he shoos it away. Finally it lands on the Irishman's pint, who grabs the fly in one hand and begins whacking it with his other hand while screaming "Spit it out, damn you! Spit it out!"

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:47 am
by BernieSki
Budweiser from Anheuser-Busch is easily the No. 1 selling beer in the United States and the world. About one beer in five consumed in the U.S. is a Bud. The second best selling beer is Bud Light.


For greater appeal Budweiser tones down the flavor so that it will not offend anyone. Ingredients such as hops, barley malt, corn and rice all affect the flavor of a beer. It is obvious that Budweiser refuses to add enough in to reach the taste threshold of some of the smaller brands because MOST people do not like the taste of strong beer. Some beer drinkers like the taste of hops with others liking the taste of barley malt, that’s why each company has there own blends to satisfy the different taste of different beer drinkers. But the majority of people who drink beer like a lighter tasting beer like Bud their sales statistics overwhelming prove it. That does not mean that your beer is better or worse it is just your personal taste preference. Even the so called beer connoisseurs can not agree on what they consider the best tasting beer, if you ask 5 of them you will get 5 different answers.

The top 5 beer brands ( measured by cases ) sold in the US in 2005 were in order:
Budweiser, Bud Light, Miller Lite, Coors Light, Natural Light.

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 12:55 pm
by REDEEMEDSKIN
BernieSki wrote:Budweiser from Anheuser-Busch is easily the No. 1 selling beer in the United States and the world. About one beer in five consumed in the U.S. is a Bud. The second best selling beer is Bud Light.


For greater appeal Budweiser tones down the flavor so that it will not offend anyone. Ingredients such as hops, barley malt, corn and rice all affect the flavor of a beer. It is obvious that Budweiser refuses to add enough in to reach the taste threshold of some of the smaller brands because MOST people do not like the taste of strong beer. Some beer drinkers like the taste of hops with others liking the taste of barley malt, that’s why each company has there own blends to satisfy the different taste of different beer drinkers. But the majority of people who drink beer like a lighter tasting beer like Bud their sales statistics overwhelming prove it. That does not mean that your beer is better or worse it is just your personal taste preference. Even the so called beer connoisseurs can not agree on what they consider the best tasting beer, if you ask 5 of them you will get 5 different answers.

The top 5 beer brands ( measured by cases ) sold in the US in 2005 were in order:
Budweiser, Bud Light, Miller Lite, Coors Light, Natural Light.



Translation: Cheap beer sells REALLY well at colleges and universities. :D

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 3:17 pm
by BernieSki
I can afford to drink any beer that I choose and I prefer to drink Budweiser. Cost is not a consideration to me. The other three beers that I enjoy are Hefeweizen, Labatts, and Amstel Light, but I still think Bud taste better then any of these.

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 4:21 pm
by REDEEMEDSKIN
BernieSki wrote:I can afford to drink any beer that I choose and I prefer to drink Budweiser. Cost is not a consideration to me. The other three beers that I enjoy are Hefeweizen, Labatts, and Amstel Light, but I still think Bud taste better then any of these.


Have you considered getting your taste buds checked??? :nana:

Budweiser... King of :puke:

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 5:33 pm
by Hooligan
BernieSki wrote:I can afford to drink any beer that I choose and I prefer to drink Budweiser. Cost is not a consideration to me. The other three beers that I enjoy are Hefeweizen, Labatts, and Amstel Light, but I still think Bud taste better then any of these.


I agree with Redeemed. Maybe you're coming down with some awful disease of the tongue or something!

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 8:47 am
by tcwest10
BernieSki wrote:I can afford to drink any beer that I choose and I prefer to drink Budweiser. Cost is not a consideration to me. The other three beers that I enjoy are Hefeweizen, Labatts, and Amstel Light, but I still think Bud taste better then any of these.


Whatever. Next round's on you, moneybags. :)

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 10:42 am
by Warmother
I like most beers except for Anheuser-Busch. For what ever reason I get bad head-aches from Anheuser products. I get bad head-aches from all beer products, but it takes less Bud to cause one than other beers.:)

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 10:53 am
by Deadskins
Warmother wrote:I like most beers except for Anheuser-Busch. For what ever reason I get bad head-aches from Anheuser products. I get bad head-aches from all beer products, but it takes less Bud to cause one than other beers.:)
Impurities.

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 12:23 pm
by EA7649
that was pretty good.

Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 1:47 pm
by UK Skins Fan
Pretentious joke of the day = Budweiser. If you run out of Coors, you can use Budweiser to water the garden.