'Twas the night before free agency
Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 10:31 pm
THE NIGHT BEFORE Free Agency (no really, finally, this time it is)
'Twas the night before Free Agency, when all through the crib
Not a creature was stirring, except for maybe Joe Gibbs;
The 102M salary cap was hung by Tagliabue, Upshaw, and the owners (except for the ole' guy in Buffalo and the moron from Cinci) with care,
In hopes that St. Dan soon would be there;
The Skins fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of a new WR, LB, K, DE, TE, and third string QB danced in their heads;
And mamma in her Ole Deion Sanders Jersey (from a free agent signing gone wrong), and I in my Vintage "R" cap,
Had just settled down for a long off season's nap (playoffs baby),
When up in the sky arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the TV I flew with a flash,
At 12:01, We turned on Sportscenter to see that St. Dan threw out more cash.
The critics were laughing about another spending spree
But us fans were optimistic once again jumping with glee,
Because, what to my wondering eyes should befall,
But Redskins One, with new redskins to crush Eagles, and Cowboys and Giants to maul
With a little "Napolean" driver, so lively and lucullan,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Dan.
More rapid than trading Laveranues or releasing Lavar he came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Lloyd! now, Weaver! now, McCown and Peterson!
On, Carter! on Evans (RFA)! on, Dockery (RFA) and Hilton!
To Redskins Park! to the top of the Washington Mall!
Now cash away! cash away! cash away to all!"
The dollars as wild as a hurricane they fly,
No draft picks to speak of, 'for the Campbell trade caused them to go bye, bye,
So up to Ashburn they flew,
With the sleigh full of Redskins' new and old toys, and St. Dan too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on Redskins.com "spin"
The prancing and pawing of each new Redskin.
As I threw up my fist in glee, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Dan came with a bound.
He was dressed in Armani, from his head to his feet,
And he wasn't quite the "jerk" that everyone says he is when you meet;
A bundle of toys he has flung on Saunders and Williams to train,
He is a man that spends freely, without much restrain.
He sprang to Redskins One, to his team gave a whistle,
You better win a Super Bowl this year he said with a bristle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Free Agency to all, and to all a good-night."
'Twas the night before Free Agency, when all through the crib
Not a creature was stirring, except for maybe Joe Gibbs;
The 102M salary cap was hung by Tagliabue, Upshaw, and the owners (except for the ole' guy in Buffalo and the moron from Cinci) with care,
In hopes that St. Dan soon would be there;
The Skins fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of a new WR, LB, K, DE, TE, and third string QB danced in their heads;
And mamma in her Ole Deion Sanders Jersey (from a free agent signing gone wrong), and I in my Vintage "R" cap,
Had just settled down for a long off season's nap (playoffs baby),
When up in the sky arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the TV I flew with a flash,
At 12:01, We turned on Sportscenter to see that St. Dan threw out more cash.
The critics were laughing about another spending spree
But us fans were optimistic once again jumping with glee,
Because, what to my wondering eyes should befall,
But Redskins One, with new redskins to crush Eagles, and Cowboys and Giants to maul
With a little "Napolean" driver, so lively and lucullan,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Dan.
More rapid than trading Laveranues or releasing Lavar he came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Lloyd! now, Weaver! now, McCown and Peterson!
On, Carter! on Evans (RFA)! on, Dockery (RFA) and Hilton!
To Redskins Park! to the top of the Washington Mall!
Now cash away! cash away! cash away to all!"
The dollars as wild as a hurricane they fly,
No draft picks to speak of, 'for the Campbell trade caused them to go bye, bye,
So up to Ashburn they flew,
With the sleigh full of Redskins' new and old toys, and St. Dan too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on Redskins.com "spin"
The prancing and pawing of each new Redskin.
As I threw up my fist in glee, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Dan came with a bound.
He was dressed in Armani, from his head to his feet,
And he wasn't quite the "jerk" that everyone says he is when you meet;
A bundle of toys he has flung on Saunders and Williams to train,
He is a man that spends freely, without much restrain.
He sprang to Redskins One, to his team gave a whistle,
You better win a Super Bowl this year he said with a bristle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Free Agency to all, and to all a good-night."
Well done!
