Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 9:16 am
That's not a bad idea, Punu. If nothing else, it makes it a little easier to see that you aren't the first, nor will you be the last, to go through a divorce and that it can be survived.
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divorce
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 9:40 am
Punu, hang in there buddy, if you need to just sit down and drink and talk Redskins, we live pretty close to each other, send me a PM
Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 10:59 am
first off, that sounds... 'creepy'Fios wrote:Punu, hang in there buddy, if you need to just sit down and drink and talk Redskins, we live pretty close to each other, send me a PM
second... punu, location: the moon / fios, location: yo momma.... so the moon is right around the corner from yo momma?
Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 11:04 am
Heyyyyyyyyy I'm trying to be nice, I said we could drink, not cry ... and yes, my momma is rather large, she has her own gravitational pull
Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 6:36 pm
Fios wrote:Heyyyyyyyyy I'm trying to be nice, I said we could drink, not cry ... and yes, my momma is rather large, she has her own gravitational pull
You guys never stop crack'n me up!
Thanks again for the comfort, really does make a difference.
Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 6:43 pm
glad you cracked a smile.
Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:33 pm
Punu wrote:Fios wrote:Heyyyyyyyyy I'm trying to be nice, I said we could drink, not cry ... and yes, my momma is rather large, she has her own gravitational pull
You guys never stop crack'n me up!
Thanks again for the comfort, really does make a difference.
They are NOT trying to be funny.
Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 12:53 am
Semper Fi brother.
If life was easy to figure it out, it wouldn't be worth living.
I know you've got a lot of friends and while it may seem impossible... with their help, you'll move past this and on to the rest of your life soon enough.
There's nothing wrong with feeling that grief, and it would be unhealthy to NOT feel a sense of loss.
Without pain, there would be no joy.
If life was easy to figure it out, it wouldn't be worth living.
I know you've got a lot of friends and while it may seem impossible... with their help, you'll move past this and on to the rest of your life soon enough.
There's nothing wrong with feeling that grief, and it would be unhealthy to NOT feel a sense of loss.
Without pain, there would be no joy.
Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 1:22 am
I agree with BH, completely.
What is that saying?
When God closes a door, he makes sure he opens a window.
Life will go on, my brother. It will take time, to be sure....but you will get passed this and yes, you will fall in love again.
When you do, you will get that giddy feeling all over again. You will be on the phone saying "No, you hang up first...you hang up first." The excitement of a new relationship will encompass you.
It will take time....but it will happen again.
Until it does.....try not to bottle your emotions inside. Talk with your family, your friends, or whomever you feel comfortable with. That's something I've never been able to do following ex #2....which is likely why it has still been so difficult for me.
What is that saying?
When God closes a door, he makes sure he opens a window.
Life will go on, my brother. It will take time, to be sure....but you will get passed this and yes, you will fall in love again.
When you do, you will get that giddy feeling all over again. You will be on the phone saying "No, you hang up first...you hang up first." The excitement of a new relationship will encompass you.
It will take time....but it will happen again.
Until it does.....try not to bottle your emotions inside. Talk with your family, your friends, or whomever you feel comfortable with. That's something I've never been able to do following ex #2....which is likely why it has still been so difficult for me.
Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 1:25 am
Punu,
If a relationship has no future, it is best to end. Otherwise the pain simply is prolonged and the recovery is postponed.
Let me tell you a little story about somebody I know: There was this guy who had this FANTASTIC relationship with a great gal over several years. The whole package was perfect. They were an intelligent and educated couple. Sex was great among them. They looked perfect together in the eyes of all their friends.
One week before the wedding, she decides that she needs extra time due to several good reasons. He says now or never. She says I can not. They still loved deeply one another and left to pursue graduate studies in some of the best but different universities in other countries.
She meets somebody else in graduate school and marries within a year. He is devastated and confesses to a mutual friend that she was "the love of his life" that "he will never be able to love like that again". He admits to self-destructing tendencies to his friends at the time.
A year later, this one guy and that one mutual friend get married and build one of the happiest families I have known to date. That was more than a decade ago and they are still going.
So, is it possible that some elements of this story are not unique? I do believe so.
If a relationship has no future, it is best to end. Otherwise the pain simply is prolonged and the recovery is postponed.
Let me tell you a little story about somebody I know: There was this guy who had this FANTASTIC relationship with a great gal over several years. The whole package was perfect. They were an intelligent and educated couple. Sex was great among them. They looked perfect together in the eyes of all their friends.
One week before the wedding, she decides that she needs extra time due to several good reasons. He says now or never. She says I can not. They still loved deeply one another and left to pursue graduate studies in some of the best but different universities in other countries.
She meets somebody else in graduate school and marries within a year. He is devastated and confesses to a mutual friend that she was "the love of his life" that "he will never be able to love like that again". He admits to self-destructing tendencies to his friends at the time.
A year later, this one guy and that one mutual friend get married and build one of the happiest families I have known to date. That was more than a decade ago and they are still going.
So, is it possible that some elements of this story are not unique? I do believe so.
Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 1:55 am
Crazy, I get through a rough day at work, can't get much done. Thinking too much.
Go to the Gym and can't get much done, thinking too much.
Come home, my friends call me, helps.
I get on this board and see your responses and helps even more. I'm not glad some of you know how this pain feels, but i'm glad you knew what it was to tell me it's normal. I hate sitting in bed with my stomach turning feeling like I'm getting stabbed every night. But your all right, it'll take time. Thank you so much over and over again.. . you guys are great, I look forward to us all knowing each other for years to come so I can tell you great stories instaed of dissapointing ones like this... oh and I hope to hear some great stories from you guys too!
ps~thanx for the offer fios... we should watch a game this season.
Go to the Gym and can't get much done, thinking too much.
Come home, my friends call me, helps.
I get on this board and see your responses and helps even more. I'm not glad some of you know how this pain feels, but i'm glad you knew what it was to tell me it's normal. I hate sitting in bed with my stomach turning feeling like I'm getting stabbed every night. But your all right, it'll take time. Thank you so much over and over again.. . you guys are great, I look forward to us all knowing each other for years to come so I can tell you great stories instaed of dissapointing ones like this... oh and I hope to hear some great stories from you guys too!
ps~thanx for the offer fios... we should watch a game this season.
Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 2:29 pm
How are you doing buddy?
I hope you are keeping busy instead of just sitting around the house thinking!
I hope you are keeping busy instead of just sitting around the house thinking!
Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 6:03 pm
I'm doing well, thank god for friends right?!
They keep me busy...
They keep me busy...
Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 4:15 pm
i got married 3 months ago and have managed not to make her leave me yet 
but my parents got divorced when i was in high school so i've "been through it" in a way. i'm sorry man, it sucks... it was really awful for a while but in the long run it's turned out a lot better for both my parents. so hang in there, it will get better...
but my parents got divorced when i was in high school so i've "been through it" in a way. i'm sorry man, it sucks... it was really awful for a while but in the long run it's turned out a lot better for both my parents. so hang in there, it will get better...
Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:03 pm
I have 4 brothers. All 5 of us have been married. 2 of my brothers and I are one our first marriage. 1 brother is on his 2nd and another brother is going through a nasty divorce where all the wife cares about is how much money she'll get (instead of how much time she'll get with the kids as my brother cares about). They both make about the same but since she has rent (she moved out) and my brother is staying at my Mom's house rent free (at the moment) my brother has to pay her a piddlign amount each month (which she termed a "victory" for her). The judge has awarded my brother more days per year with their 3 kids than the wife gets since she is documented to be a bad mother.
I've been helping my brother out every day in keeping his spirits up and also keepin his mind on other things (our new company for one). So even though I haven't been divorced I can see what it does to people.
Stick it out... cheer up and the clouds will eventually part and the sun will again shine on your face my friend !!!
Ok don't take this the wrong way but I'll add the old divorce joke...
Q: "Why is Divorce so expensive??"
A: "Because its worth it"
Hope this made someone chuckle a bit in hindsight... if not I didn't mean to offend.
I've been helping my brother out every day in keeping his spirits up and also keepin his mind on other things (our new company for one). So even though I haven't been divorced I can see what it does to people.
Stick it out... cheer up and the clouds will eventually part and the sun will again shine on your face my friend !!!
Ok don't take this the wrong way but I'll add the old divorce joke...
Q: "Why is Divorce so expensive??"
A: "Because its worth it"
Hope this made someone chuckle a bit in hindsight... if not I didn't mean to offend.
Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 5:15 am
thaiphoon wrote:
Ok don't take this the wrong way but I'll add the old divorce joke...
Q: "Why is Divorce so expensive??"
A: "Because its worth it"
Hope this made someone chuckle a bit in hindsight... if not I didn't mean to offend.
My lawyer told me many years ago that when both parties come out of a divorce thinking they were "screwed" - it's a FAIR divorce.
Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 3:14 pm
My parents split up afer 40 years... long after the birds had flown the nest... pretty ugly... I guess my best advice for you moving forward brother, would be that while it's always easier to remember the crap and why you split up in the first place, or get caught up in the bitterness of the split, I think it's important that you keep some place in your heart for the times you shared that weren't like that.
It's a healthier place to put yourself, and that will help the people around you who ALSO have to deal with your divorce in some way... whether it be friends, family etc.
It's a healthier place to put yourself, and that will help the people around you who ALSO have to deal with your divorce in some way... whether it be friends, family etc.
Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 7:20 pm
BossHog wrote:My parents split up afer 40 years... long after the birds had flown the nest... pretty ugly... I guess my best advice for you moving forward brother, would be that while it's always easier to remember the crap and why you split up in the first place, or get caught up in the bitterness of the split, I think it's important that you keep some place in your heart for the times you shared that weren't like that.
It's a healthier place to put yourself, and that will help the people around you who ALSO have to deal with your divorce in some way... whether it be friends, family etc.
And my parents split after 48 years....I thought it was a little strange but they are doing okay now. It's been about 5 or 6 years. Life goes on.
Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:15 am
My father lost his mind in Vietnam, and thankfully left us in 1974, about 6 months after he came back.
It's not always a bad thing, I guess.
It's not always a bad thing, I guess.