The nice, if obvious, thing about the start of the NFL season is that nothing is written \u2026 except this sentence \u2026 and the next one \u2026 and all of the following ones. OK, some things are written but insofar as the NFL is concerned, the slate is blank. We, as fans, can feel legitimate excitement about what the coming season holds. We can be optimistic without having to ignore certain and wholly inconvenient realities that do not mesh with our idea of an ideal season.
\nHope springs eternal \u2026 until it\u2019s snapped by a clumsy defensive lineman crushing your quarterback\u2019s leg \u2013 and with it any aspirations of success.<\/p>\n
Football is unique among American sports in that your team\u2019s fate can solidify or unravel in the course of a few weeks. That\u2019s what makes the start of the football season so unique, it\u2019s the opening chapter of a relatively short story and you know rather quickly if you\u2019re reading a tragedy, a comedy or something altogether triumphant.
\nSo, in the spirit of doe-eyed optimism, here are my wishes for the coming season.<\/p>\n
-That the Redskins offense rise above the dull and predictable mediocrity of seasons past. I\u2019m not asking for the \u201991 Redskins or the \u201907 Patriots, I\u2019m asking \u2013 begging, pleading \u2013 for an offense that can score, at a minimum, 24 points a game. And by that I do not mean two weeks of an explosive offense followed by 4 weeks of a mediocre one. I want to watch an offense that is a threat to score on a consistent basis.<\/p>\n
-That the Redskins master the art of the replay challenge. Other teams seem to do this with ease and, frankly, it isn\u2019t that hard. Granted, you will occasionally issue a challenge that, on review, goes badly as it becomes evident the initial call was correct. I can live with that so long as the bulk of the challenges are winnable. Granted, you are then asking that the same idiots who made the mistake in the first place are willing to admit to that mistake. (I believe the review should be handled by an official in a booth independent from the crew, he has no vested interest in the call and can be counted on to be more impartial.) But give the idiots a chance \u2013 just be certain it\u2019s the chance with the best possible odds.<\/p>\n
-That (and this goes hand in hand with wish 1) Malcolm Kelly or Devin Thomas or even Marko Mitchell become a legitimate threat at the no. 2 wideout spot. Seriously, this has become ridiculous, the NFL gods have deprived us long enough.<\/p>\n
-That I never (or at least very rarely) have to hear \u201cillegal formation, offense\u201d or \u201cfalse start, offense\u201d or \u201cit\u2019s the Redskins, we just assume something went awry, offense.\u201d I know that penalties happen in the course of a game but they seem to happen with a disturbing frequency to the guys in burgundy and gold. That gets so very tiresome. In what I would like to think is a calm, rational way, I actually believe the Redskins become the victims of their own reputation here. They commit one actual penalty after another and the officiating crews become hyper-sensitive to this. They\u2019re then forced to pay the wages of both their actual sins and their assumed sins.<\/p>\n
-That we get a season of relative health. I\u2019m almost reluctant to even put that in print since the cruel caprices of sport mean that I\u2019m just as likely to see someone tear their MCL\/ACL in pre-game warm-ups as I am to see them play all 16 games. But, as this is a wish list and not a demand list, I feel like I\u2019m not tempting fate in any egregious way.<\/p>\n
-That we see more fumbles and tipped passes end up in the hands of Redskins players. For all of the legitimate hand-wringing about the team\u2019s inability to force turnovers, even the pessimists would have to admit the Redskins have seen their fare share of unlucky bounces. To whatever invisible force we\u2019ve angered, we are sorry. Surely we have paid our penance by now. Also, SACKS \u2013 lots of them. I want to watch several 3rd and longs result in the opposing QB being buried under a sea of frothing mad Redskins.<\/p>\n
-Bonus wish: that whoever schedules commercials comes to the brilliant realization that running the same poorly thought out, unfunny, irritating 30 seconds of crap makes me \u2013 and every other thinking person \u2013 that much LESS likely to buy your product.<\/p>\n
Advertiser: “Hey man, I made a little 30 second video that manages to be both insultingly stupid and incredibly annoying, would you like to watch it?”<\/p>\n
Me: “I appreciate your asking and my answer is unequivocally no. I will actively boycott your product if you force me to watch it and I will develop an unnatural hatred toward your company.”<\/p>\n
Advertiser: “Show it 350 times in the next 16 weeks, gotcha.”<\/p>\n
Some of these wishes are clearly more realistic in terms of their being realized but none are impossible. Except the commercials one, that\u2019s not going to happen. That, my friends, is why the DVR was invented. That and legs since you can, ya know, just walk out of the room. So here\u2019s to wishes coming true or at least close to true. I don\u2019t need a perfect season, just a really fun one.<\/p>\n
Edit: This blog was archived in May of 2016 from our original articles database.It was originally posted by Stephen Zorio<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"